Finding everything difficult…

Literally everything in my life is difficult. I’m a uni student, supposed to be a high achiever who is going places. But I’m crippled with anxiety, and since realising that I’m autistic I’m seeing more and more that my struggles are quite extreme. For an example, if I have to send an email to a tutor, this will take at least 20 minutes because I have to read it over and over and over until it sounds right. I know this seems small, but I think to myself, if I can’t even send an email without intense anxiety, how am I going to cope with everything in life? Like, I cannot see any way I will ever be able to cope with a job, I can’t even drag myself to my 4 lectures per week. I’m in my final year and I just don’t know what I’m going to do next, I can’t engage socially with people, my anxiety is so bad and I cannot relate to anyone. I don’t have any ambitions and I feel so different and abnormal when compared to other people my age. I just don’t think I can do this anymore. 

Parents
  • Abi.. you are not alone. We are all going through this. I relate to it so much. I am signed off my job at the moment after having a full on breakdown on the way to work 3 weeks ago. I dont know if Ill ever be able to go back.

    What you have to understand is we live in a world that is designed for people who are nothing like us. 

    Your anxiety is perfectly normal and ok for an autistic person. I re read texts and emails like 20 times after Ive sent them and get so anxious about it. 

    If you can create your own little world that works for you and that you can retreat into then that will help. I have my few trusted helpers and no interest in what the rest of the world wants to do. i retreat into my little world of feeding the ducks, listening to Schlager music and going out in to the countryside. 

    I am also working on finding a job I can do from home, like writing. Maybe there is a skill you could use to work from home?

    Basically what Im trying to say is dont think your a failure or give up just cos you dont fit into their world.

  • I think that’s the worst thing, feeling like I don’t belong and I just can’t do what everyone else does. I don’t think I would be able to go into a job, but I do like sewing so I’m hoping to maybe start an etsy shop so I could work from home. 

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