Has anyone said or done things at wrong time like me?

This is the only time something went wrong. Noone else has experienced mistakes. Laugh all you want it will happen again.

When I start my Autistic army, I want you for the "special forces"!

That sort of "physical stoicism" in my experience is very rare, and could be put to good use if you were trained... 

I actually joined the army when I turned 18 simply because I had got so fed up with similar situations occurring, although I lack your physical stoicism, and thus was better at not letting people injure me! (I would have taken whatever action I deemed fit at the first "nutting" and very possibly dodged or blocked it, because I seem to be very "fast" as small people often are in such situations) 

If you want to avoid such situations in the future, you could do worse than start a thread on "how do I avoid Violence?" and see who weighs in, and what they have to say. As a young man I carefully cultivated a reputation for being a "psychopath" by whenever it was possible (or I had to) using theatrical levels of offensiveness to deliver violence to those who gave me no choice, which thinned the herd enormously.

E.G. when I was fixing my moped on my drive and the local gang who'd already had one bite of me, happened to pass my house, and start taking the piss, I just said, "one minute, guys" got the hatchet form the back of the garage and ran at the nearest one, just fast enough to be convincing just slow enough to allow him to escape. I do not lie at all well, so whilst I was VERY HAPPY to give them an opportunity to run away, and tell their mates not to mess with me any more, the gamble for me was that if they'd stood their ground, which ever choice I'd taken would have radically changed my life. In truth, I undertood teh one basic rule of socialisation, if you let people dominate you on your own turf, outside of an agreement you willingly enter into, (that's what the call "teamwork", and in a good team or society "dominance" is excercised contexually, not arbitarily) you might as well be dead.    

Fortunately, the army taught me how to have the same determination, but also (unexpectly) to avoid actual physical combat whenever possible! And it confirmed my belief that if someone really is determined to engage in violent conflict, "it is better to let the other guy die for his beliefs than to die for ones own". I think I'm quoting general pattons, speech to the guys about to do the normandy invasion. In Gulf war one where the British Army was tasked with securing the city of Basra, they prevailed with hardly a shot being fired. When you see the americans subduing a city, however, it's a LOT noisier! 

"Physical stoicicism", you either got it, or you have not. In my experience most of us have not..

I had a meltdown in front of a Supermarket, while taking Gran shopping one Sunday. I was in a rush to get home before three; online commitment. But I overreacted. 

I once was talking to someone outside a house at a party and he randomly started punching me till he got tired, telling me to stop looking at him with that face, i was confused as ***. Not sure what i said lmao

They was this person who everyone joked was a pedo behind his back (tho they was truth in it) and i for some reason said it to his face jokinly and the mood switched quick and he was like say it again and ill nut you so i did and well he nutted me every time i said it, was about 4 i think lmao was standing there confused blood pissing from my nose all over my face.

I forced myself to look people in the eye, well i once got my head cracked off a toilet wall as i took a piss, was happy i didnt shutdown confused as i pulled my jeans up and got the guy in a headlock as we was scating on the piss covered floor, i got dragged out and was calling for him outside as a circle formed around me, blood running down my head, some random guy jump on me outside and my mate bro trying to get im off dragging me across the floor lmao

Oh, bless him!  (And anyone he cuddles up with!  )  

We've had some pretty windy dogs over the years, but I don't remember either of the cats I grew up with having that problem.

Since the conversation has gone this way, one of our two new rescue cats has turned out to be absolutely perfect in every way except one.

He's personable, sociable, friendly, careful with his claws, "speaks" to you in different tones to express himself, is aesthetically beautiful, and HUGE, is a real "cuddle cat", and totally human house compatible. 

He did come with a stupid and seemingly inapproapriate name, and whilst we were hunting for a name I did briefly consider "Bhopal" (site of a massive Union Carbide poisonous gaseous pollution release some years back).

I've never had a farting cat before! It's got the makings of endless amusement over the years, as unsuspecting guests (like my daughter yesterday) let him cosy up to them... 

I have a friend who's a teacher, and she often has stories of things her students have done that were wholly inappropriate (farting features in them a LOT) and she found it really hard not to laugh along with them.  That vicar was probably the same!

I've had those moments too. She was probably laughing inside too and trying to keep a straight face, lol. I wouldn't worry about it.

That’s great  

And they think that the devil doesn't exist! Obviously, apologising and keeping a straight face would have been the cool&correct option, but I'd have probably done the same, and based on this one post, I think I'd probably like you if I met you!

I tend to laugh at absurdity or my own gaffes.

As a young man I was tasked with taking my boots off by a military doctor of the rank of colonel. I put my foot on teh crossbar of his desk and it gave way completely, tipping his desk flat on one end and as all his stuff crashed to the floor he glowered at me. I couldn;t stop myself from laughing like a drain, right in his face...oops!