Is this really a safe space for autistic adults?

Totally agree with you, this is not as safe a place to be as I thought it would be. I've been falsely accused of a hate crime by two snowflakes however, it seems it's a differing of definition which is causing them to bring up the accusations. Nothing will change your accusers mind sadly, even when you present real proven facts or a detailed explanation, of why you've done nothing wrong by saying what you have said. Every time they click on a topic and they see your name, they will continue to see you as that bad person who hates or is a so-and-so. 

Don't react to your accusers and don't lower yourself to their woke level, rise above them by continuing to speak openly and freely while welcoming debate. You're a far better person than they potentially ever will be. What you say may or may not offend people but who cares? You can do it because this place is full of wonderful individuals with different experiences some of which, we could all learn from and take on board.

Mhm i dont feel safe with the parents *im a teen* and it makes me uncomfortable 

I was on a site where the most vile and hateful people were free to spew their hatred unrestrictedly. Stuff like covid & race arguments would trigger vicious interchanges between the more deranged, and hardcore fact based debate amongst the more powerful, but it was educational.

Prohibiting such people from ever receiving any opposition (because they aren't allowed to speak) drives the problem out of sight and out of mind.

In my own case, seeing "hatreds" similar to those I'd first been taught by society and then been taught to suppress by society as they became "unfashionable" actually being played out "harmlessly" on an online forum rather than in the streets allowed me to see where the truth really lies, and what a useless and disempowering emotion hatred actually is.

Extending vitriol and hatred towards those you perceive as "haters", is such an effective strategy isn't it? 

u have had a bad start,,,, just stick here and u'll find u will learn something of use.  and make friends.  the moderators use a light touch type of moderation which suits the range of autistic people here.   They only intervene when things get a bit rough.

contact me if u feel upset .  

its pretty safe in here really 

Look on the bright side. 

You cannot catch a virus from this site, unless it's a computer virus.

It's physically safe, unless you let your guard down and reveal personal details such as your real name or address.

So the site is safe.

I've now survived THREE false abuse filings, by people who frankly seemed either spoiling for a fight, or pathologically unable to deal with a dffering opinion.

I've taken a lot disrespect if not attempted abuse from several commenters, which if I were of the "snowflake" persausion might have caused me more than the passing sadness that they did.

I've had my authenticity as a card carrying autistic denied, facts I have supplied described as nonsense, and been on the end of some mildly offensive ad hominems (mostly retracted as peopel come to their senses)  

So not this is not entriely a safe space for autistics.

It does, however, contain some really bright stars amongst it's contributors, who I've watched over and over again pass on their wisdom in a compassionate and effective way.

It is also the first place EVER that I have been where when someone was trying to whip up a campaign of hatred aginst me, people entirely unconnected to me had the decency to stand up for me unasked, and reject that process on my behalf. That was very touching, to be honest...

But even the unfortunate events that do sometimes happen, because most of us are just honest Autists trying to come to grips with our situation or help others do the same, help me understand how my autism appears to other people. 

It might not be entirely "safe", but it is a wonderful place to be, if you can avoid hating on people when they say something that doesn't sit well with you. 

And clearly the moderators are not lazy here, to survive three attempts to cancel me, suggests that someone must have evaluated each case...  

M said:

That's a huge part of the problem with the Internet to begin with - these hateful people have a much larger audience than they did pre-internet and it validates them. 

I agree and they can hide behind anonymity, it is true that everyone else also has a wider audience but we seem to like to believe the negatives more than the truths.

M,

Concerning being hateful, we all have different perspectives of what is and isn’t hateful. If we perceive a hateful comment that doesn’t mean others do. Don’t get me wrong, they are some comments that everyone being serious would agree to be hateful.

So does everyone else though. And I don't think it does validate them. In many ways I think racism found it easier to flourish when debates happened down at the pub around a table of 6 or so individuals with similar life experiences.

I grew up in a family of racists and I'm not any closer to understanding it. They also called me a spastic for being autistic. 

I've engaged in many pointless conversations with them about both topics and it is draining. Perhaps you have more emotional energy reserved for this than I do but I already do an emotionally-demanding job and I really don't want to spend my free time giving hateful people my last bits of energy. That's a huge part of the problem with the Internet to begin with - these hateful people have a much larger audience than they did pre-internet and it validates them. 

ideals exist for a reason. If we don't strive for our ideals what should we strive for. Pragmatism without ideals is a very slippery slope. One needs a degree of idealism to prevent ones good intentions from turning you into a monster.

And education is the wrong way to think about it too. It assumes that the only reason people hold hateful views is they are misguided and are going to change their views if you argue with them. Some of them don't really care about the facts or arguments. But lots of other people do. Such debates aren't always for changing the minds of the people you are debating with, its for the benefit of those listening who might find hateful arguments compelling. It's also for yourself because at the very least be engaging with the arguments of others you will come to understand them better (and hopefully visa versa even if they don't agree with you). That's how we humanise people we hate and disagree with. By understanding why they are the way they are even if we don't agree with it.

That is very idealistic but engaging with bigots is often futile. Some people don't want to be educated, they only want to hate, offend and harm other people. 

It isn't the job of the subjects of any discrimination or hate to educate these people either. 

As for democracy, I'm not sure we have a current government that lends to arguing FOR democracy right now...

That's just the flip side of fascism. So as you start pushing ideas and views out of the debate, no matter how hateful, you undermine democracy. You lend legitimacy to those who claim they are being repressed. The solution to hateful ideas is not to try to silence them but respond with better ideas.

Not sure that exists, certainly not absolutely anyway. Some opinions are too hateful to be allowed a platform. 

To me the safest space is one where you can say things with out worrying about whether you are going to be vilified for it. I know these things are relative but to me being berated and silenced by people who don't want to engage with my arguments or opinions is far more scary than having people tell me I'm wrong and try to argue with me, far more scary than having some one express an opinion I personally don't like or find repugnant.

My idea of a safe space is a place where a person can say what they really think and feel and the next person can stand up and go into all the reasons why they think they are wrong. That's what makes me feel safe.

No, I don't think this is really a safe space. If it was, it would be monitored better for people who don't understand Autism/Aspergers isn't some "illness", it's a fundamental part of who people on the Spectrum are. The best you can hope for is that most of the people on the Forums really are here because they need help, or are here to help.

M,

From what I’ve seen this forum is safer than others, it will be rare for you to come across anyone being offensive against us. With The National Autistic Society being a professional charity with the intention to increase autism awareness I would say people here are here to learn about autism from those of us who’ve experienced living autistic and parents who’ve brought up an autistic child.

Those here who are not autistic I see asking questions about what can they do to help their children, or if they have a child not yet diagnosed asking which direction to go in next. Others are asking how do we cope with issues like over or under sensitivity for guidance, it’s mostly parents and carers seeking advice from people with experience or having little conversations about what’s there favourite music.

Out of my entire membership on this forum I’ve only encountered one individual questioning validity by claiming those of us autistic are all narcissistic. Besides that one I’ve seen nothing insulting or offensive.

I'm sorry you are feeling upset and anxious. I know what you mean. I have read a few posts on here recently which often seem derogatory or even hostile to autistic people. I'm not sure its done intentionally, and is probably just people being scared or badly informed, but it doesn't make it feel like a safe space. It hasn't made me feel threatened but it has made me feel deeply uncomfortable and guarded. The fact that this is a completely public forum has always made me more than a little nervous too tbh. I always wondered why at least some of the boards don't require a people to at least sign in to view them.  

Don't leave here your inputs are quite good.  A few of us have a discord server where we chat and are very supportive of each other, I can send you the link if you like.

This is the only forum I use with regards to autism so I have nothing to compare it to. I really think I shouldn't use this forum any more.