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Partner doesn't support diagnosis

NAS76778

Hello

I am a female adult and I think I may be autistic as I have shown traits of communication problems and sensory difficulties for all my life. However I am academically successful and independent so my partner of a few years thinks I am not autistic because I 'don't struggle enough' and 'everyone has some autistic traits'. I don't know if i am autistic or not because i have not had an assessment yet but my partner is not supportive of the idea of looking into it. He thinks the label would be unhelpful anyway but I would prefer to know either way to help me accept myself. I have tried to tell him about what i find difficult but I haven't been able to explain it to him well enough and I feel more isolated as a result. Does anyone have any experience of this or advice?

Parents

  • Ditto.

    I too am "academically successful and independent",- against all the odds given both my autism and dyslexia. Does that mean I haven't "suffered enough"? How much does he think we ought to suffer to qualify as autistic? There have been many other pains for me, as there have been for most of us. And no, not everyone has "some autistic traits". Such silly assertions belittle our experience.

    Your partner's assumptions are, of course, based in ignorance, which can be forgiven and he can educate himself if he is willing.

    But you seem to want to know for sure and you are entitled to find out. It's your well being at stake, after all. His reluctance to support you, whatever his personal pre-conceptions, is not forgivable. You deserve his support, not his obstruction.

    Good luck

Reply

  • Ditto.

    I too am "academically successful and independent",- against all the odds given both my autism and dyslexia. Does that mean I haven't "suffered enough"? How much does he think we ought to suffer to qualify as autistic? There have been many other pains for me, as there have been for most of us. And no, not everyone has "some autistic traits". Such silly assertions belittle our experience.

    Your partner's assumptions are, of course, based in ignorance, which can be forgiven and he can educate himself if he is willing.

    But you seem to want to know for sure and you are entitled to find out. It's your well being at stake, after all. His reluctance to support you, whatever his personal pre-conceptions, is not forgivable. You deserve his support, not his obstruction.

    Good luck

Children
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