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Partner doesn't support diagnosis

NAS76778

Hello

I am a female adult and I think I may be autistic as I have shown traits of communication problems and sensory difficulties for all my life. However I am academically successful and independent so my partner of a few years thinks I am not autistic because I 'don't struggle enough' and 'everyone has some autistic traits'. I don't know if i am autistic or not because i have not had an assessment yet but my partner is not supportive of the idea of looking into it. He thinks the label would be unhelpful anyway but I would prefer to know either way to help me accept myself. I have tried to tell him about what i find difficult but I haven't been able to explain it to him well enough and I feel more isolated as a result. Does anyone have any experience of this or advice?

Parents

  • Well, I am a clinically diagnosed autistic and I worked for 34 years in scientific research and managing scientific services in a research institute, have published many research papers and book chapters, and was elected to a learned society that David Attenborough and the ex-Emperor of Japan are members of. Being academically bright and being able to live independently, are not barriers to also being autistic. Being assessed is a very personal decision, prompted by a need to find a meaning in, and have validation for, the individual's traits, history and difficulties. As such, it is nobody else's business; plus anyone with the interests at heart of a person who suspects that they are autistic, should be supportive, whatever their own views. My wife was entirely supportive of me seeking an autism assessment, but if she had not been, I would have sought it anyway. Plus, of course, you do not need to tell anyone you do not want to know, of your autistic status; therefore the 'label' angle is non-existent, if you prefer not to disclose. If you have a private assessment, you are not even required to inform your GP.

Reply

  • Well, I am a clinically diagnosed autistic and I worked for 34 years in scientific research and managing scientific services in a research institute, have published many research papers and book chapters, and was elected to a learned society that David Attenborough and the ex-Emperor of Japan are members of. Being academically bright and being able to live independently, are not barriers to also being autistic. Being assessed is a very personal decision, prompted by a need to find a meaning in, and have validation for, the individual's traits, history and difficulties. As such, it is nobody else's business; plus anyone with the interests at heart of a person who suspects that they are autistic, should be supportive, whatever their own views. My wife was entirely supportive of me seeking an autism assessment, but if she had not been, I would have sought it anyway. Plus, of course, you do not need to tell anyone you do not want to know, of your autistic status; therefore the 'label' angle is non-existent, if you prefer not to disclose. If you have a private assessment, you are not even required to inform your GP.

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