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Partner doesn't support diagnosis

NAS76778

Hello

I am a female adult and I think I may be autistic as I have shown traits of communication problems and sensory difficulties for all my life. However I am academically successful and independent so my partner of a few years thinks I am not autistic because I 'don't struggle enough' and 'everyone has some autistic traits'. I don't know if i am autistic or not because i have not had an assessment yet but my partner is not supportive of the idea of looking into it. He thinks the label would be unhelpful anyway but I would prefer to know either way to help me accept myself. I have tried to tell him about what i find difficult but I haven't been able to explain it to him well enough and I feel more isolated as a result. Does anyone have any experience of this or advice?

Parents

  • From my perspective a partnership should have a few elements: respect and appreciate one another’s needs/desires and do whatever is required to build trust. 

    What concern is it to him that you’re not diagnosed? Is he an expert in this field? If no concern and if, not an expert, then it sounds like perhaps he could interrogate his own cognitive bias and appreciate that a diagnostic won’t change how hard you’re willing to continue to work to be successful. 

    Perhaps he doesn’t need to understand the barriers he encounters in life and perhaps you’d like every tool available to navigate? If a diagnosis is a map or GPS, can he appreciate that? 

Reply

  • From my perspective a partnership should have a few elements: respect and appreciate one another’s needs/desires and do whatever is required to build trust. 

    What concern is it to him that you’re not diagnosed? Is he an expert in this field? If no concern and if, not an expert, then it sounds like perhaps he could interrogate his own cognitive bias and appreciate that a diagnostic won’t change how hard you’re willing to continue to work to be successful. 

    Perhaps he doesn’t need to understand the barriers he encounters in life and perhaps you’d like every tool available to navigate? If a diagnosis is a map or GPS, can he appreciate that? 

Children
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