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Going to prostitutes as alternative to dating

Who else (aspergers males) has given up on dating and goes to prostitues instead. I have, I went from being a 30 year old virgin to having slept with 34 different girls in just four years time. First off, I live in the US, where prostitution is illegal, but that is the least of my worries, slap on the wrist misdemeanor crime, I know how to do it and play the "game" without being caught (like how donation is slang for money and I am paying for her time, not to have sex. Like say I give her $100 for half hour, its for her time to spend with me and anything we chose to do together during our time is between two consenting adults). 

I am 34 now. I was stuck a virgin until I was 30. Bad luck with dating, no girl would like me. The main issue I had was girls being turned off by social awardkness. I mean when I approached girls, they shunned me by my rapid speech and my coming onto strong - like too forward without realizing it. Also I tend to stare at girls without realizing it, which creeps them out. For me, I can;t get past the first five minutes without being friendzoned or shunned. Another obstacle I have faced is every single girl I meet already has a boyfriend. Granted some girls say that to guys they want to date, but thanks to social media, I can confirm most girls are taken at young age.

I never dated as a teen or in my 20s. The only time I kissed a girl was when I was 13 in the adolescent psych ward (girl was 14, another patient on the ward). 

I could not take it anymore, so when I was 30, when I was on social media apps, I met a gross old woman almost 60, who agreed to give me free pity sex so I was not a virgin. It wasn't peer pressure, I more wanted to know a vagina looked and felt in person. Awful experience, but I still got to lose my virginity.

Next few months, I met a few more girls for hookups on social apps, but they charged money, so really prostitution. Then something upsetting happened. My mom died from cancer (yep I lost my mom at 30) and a few months later, one of my mom's friends friends whom I was acquainted with (older woman in mid to late 40s) agreed to be friends with benefits and have a sexual relationship with me. I was so excited and thought a dream come true. Just for her to turn around and tell me, she was only joking, what a cruel tease. Then she lied saying I sexually harassed her to cover herself.

That was the final straw, so I gave up and began going to prostitutes. I sought them out on a website called (Deleted by Mod). And I began seeing escorts reguarly paying them for sex. Yes its not easy, its braking my bank, as I pay $300 to $400 a month on this and cannot survive without. Thankfully I have a full time state job, so I am not broke, but still have no emergency savings and owe $9000 on my credit card. Many of these girls are bad drug addicts (hard drugs like heroin, crack or powdered cocaine) or have criminal records. I try to establish regulars and even tried to make friends with these girls, but they take advantage of me. Because I am so nice and trusting and gullible, these girls sucker me into lending them money and never paying back or use me for rides as a free taxi.

I have been threatened, one girl named Valerie threatened to smash my windows and send people to my apartment to physically hurt me. This was after she suckered me into lending her $300 and never paying me back, and I begged her for my money back. 

I have been robbed too. Another girl named Kora who is a chain crack smoker stole my credit card and tried to wire over $900 to Western Union. She also used me to give her rides to buy from her dealer and smoked crack in my car, putting me at risk if police stopped us at traffic stop. A traveling escort from Cali named Abby (whom I saw 3 times) told me she would keep in touch on facebook and then after the last time, told me she was retiring from escorting to join the military but wanted to see me one last time, she would fly to New York to spend 3 days with me, sleep at my apartment and exclusively see me and hang out, she just needed $300 for her airfare. I foolishly sent her the $300 and she took the money and ran, laughed calling me retard. Another druggie on and off prostitute named Jen told me after we got in a fight that laughs at me behind my back when I am not around and refers to me as "Tom the retard" to her friends. 

A long time regular girl named Liz, whom I saw over 20 times, gave me gonnerhea (she let me engage in unprotected vaginal sex, no condom, each time). She had been nice to me in the past, even doing an overnight with me at my apartment for $500 (my only time in my life I have ever had a girl spend the night in my bed) and then as soon as I get sick from her and  confront her, she turns nasty on me and denies giving me the STD and begins hating me, rudely telling me off for good.

And worst of all, the worst girl, the most recent girl named Victoria faked being pregnant with my baby to sucker me into giving her money for a fake abortion pill and then using my money to buy heroin. She really got me and I was scared believing her and she did that. I also had unprotected vaginal sex no condom with her, why I believed her. After realizing she tricked me, I blocked her. But I am scared still, what if by small chance she really is pregnant? I would be trapped and my hard earned money from my state job would go for chuld support for a kid I would never see.

Alot of bad times, but I do it cuz I honestly feel, its my only option for sex and intimacy and dating is impossible. Anyone else? And yes I have now slept with 34 different girls.

Parents
  • So in the first interaction with any female you've ever met, you put sex first, and you don't really care about the female personally. And I'd say that the only females who would put sex first, and don't care about you personally in return, are prostitutes. You're like them and they are like you in a way. Like attracts like. And all these temporary exchanges don't lead to a long term relationship. And a relationship that only has sex and nothing else is not fulfilling and feels empty.

    Your fear of being lonely is driving your finances and your future into the ground. I mean with your finances at the moment, it won't take you long before you max out your $15,000 credit card limit (maybe less than 3 years at the rate you're going). And It'll take you over 10 years to pay it off, and by that time you'll be over 40 years old, your youth is almost gone, your body's starting to fall to pieces, your job will be harder to do, you won't have any savings, and you still haven't had your first girlfriend yet. 

    I'd say that your best bet is to work on building yourself up, take some of that money and spend it on a coach to teach you more about relationships and dating and give you some advice. Work on getting yourself out of that debt you're in. I mean it might take you another 4 years to get yourself out of debt, but then afterwards you'll have the means to save up money after that. 

  • You are right about how I shouldn't put sex first. See in the past I did because I was so desperate to lose my virginity, so frustrated before. Now that I am far from being a virgin (I have slept with 34 different girls, more than most NT guys), sex is no longer that important.

    The reason I go to these escorts now is mostly because I am lonely for intimacy and also to rebel. I have a lot of built of anger inside me, mostly from my past that was unfair. I feel I have been denied dating and think I am rebelling against my unfair life situation. Also I was raised religious in the church and forced to be homeschooled all the way to end of highschool, so I missed out on my teen years. I am angry over that despite that being almost 20 years ago. And in the church growing up forced to hear "Wait until your wedding night, the Bible commands us to wait," being almost brainwashed with that made me angrier and want to rebel more.

    So as you see, me going to escorts I am doing more to rebel and be bad, by purposely doing something immoral. Its that more than me being horny and sex crazed. 

    And you are right about my high credit card debt, the problem though isnt just escorts, other stuff too. Like major car repairs. I have to get all four tires replaced, thats $500. I have to get new breaks, and that is normal wear and tear, not mentioning all the other car repairs I may face one day. But my point is I have no savings or money, so a major car repair, I have to use my credit card to pay for it.

    And regarding being in debt, my bigger concern is a girl trapping me with pregnancy and then me having to pay her child support, which is more expensive that my escort cost each month. There goes my personal freedom. with my hard earned money going for a kid I would probably never see. That is what the latest Victoria did to me by faking being pregnant. More the reason to always use condoms, not to mention STD protection.  Forced fatherhood is unfair, guy even has one time hookup and she accidentally gets pregnant and does not want abortion, after she has the baby, he is forced to pay child support despite the fact he wants nothing to do with her or the kid and his life is ruined, stuck in the poor house forever.

  • Now that I am far from being a virgin (I have slept with 34 different girls, more than most NT guys), sex is no longer that important

    But why is that even important.... It's not a competition of how many people you can sleep with, I get social pressure and all that rubbish but 34 is a bit excessive (in my opinion anyway) I just don't think people should be comparing themselves to NTs in this area. I don't know I'm obviously out of touch with the 'in thing'

  • Rebelling could have resulted in doing this once. Not repeatedly.

    Also, the girls are not there to be ‘kept’ by you. They owe you nothing. They are working this job because they have to, and it helps feed their habit (in some cases). In no way are they to be thought of as a substitute for a girlfriend or relationship. You are just cash to them, so if they choose to try and extort more cash from you, they will. 
    This is a fact. 

  • mostly because of my religious upbringing. I was raised in the church and forced to hear over and over "Wait until your wedding night, the bible commands us to wait." Hearing that over and over caused me anger and led to me rebelling, hence this. 

    And its not a competition, but the reason why the number of girls is so high is read my description of each girl. They keep screwing me over and acting bad to me, I cannot keep a longtime regular, so replace her with new girl. Thats why

  • He doesnt actually have to disclose that though. The main thing is that he checks his sexual health status before starting any relationships. 

  • Actually didn't look at it from that perspective, very true, ou make a valid point 

  • And how many women are going to be comfortable starting a new relationship with someone that has been with this number of (mostly) sex workers? Not many I can tell you! He’s mucked up his chances as far as I can tell……

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