Going to prostitutes as alternative to dating

So in the first interaction with any female you've ever met, you put sex first, and you don't really care about the female personally. And I'd say that the only females who would put sex first, and don't care about you personally in return, are prostitutes. You're like them and they are like you in a way. Like attracts like. And all these temporary exchanges don't lead to a long term relationship. And a relationship that only has sex and nothing else is not fulfilling and feels empty.

Your fear of being lonely is driving your finances and your future into the ground. I mean with your finances at the moment, it won't take you long before you max out your $15,000 credit card limit (maybe less than 3 years at the rate you're going). And It'll take you over 10 years to pay it off, and by that time you'll be over 40 years old, your youth is almost gone, your body's starting to fall to pieces, your job will be harder to do, you won't have any savings, and you still haven't had your first girlfriend yet. 

I'd say that your best bet is to work on building yourself up, take some of that money and spend it on a coach to teach you more about relationships and dating and give you some advice. Work on getting yourself out of that debt you're in. I mean it might take you another 4 years to get yourself out of debt, but then afterwards you'll have the means to save up money after that. 

You are right about how I shouldn't put sex first. See in the past I did because I was so desperate to lose my virginity, so frustrated before. Now that I am far from being a virgin (I have slept with 34 different girls, more than most NT guys), sex is no longer that important.

The reason I go to these escorts now is mostly because I am lonely for intimacy and also to rebel. I have a lot of built of anger inside me, mostly from my past that was unfair. I feel I have been denied dating and think I am rebelling against my unfair life situation. Also I was raised religious in the church and forced to be homeschooled all the way to end of highschool, so I missed out on my teen years. I am angry over that despite that being almost 20 years ago. And in the church growing up forced to hear "Wait until your wedding night, the Bible commands us to wait," being almost brainwashed with that made me angrier and want to rebel more.

So as you see, me going to escorts I am doing more to rebel and be bad, by purposely doing something immoral. Its that more than me being horny and sex crazed. 

And you are right about my high credit card debt, the problem though isnt just escorts, other stuff too. Like major car repairs. I have to get all four tires replaced, thats $500. I have to get new breaks, and that is normal wear and tear, not mentioning all the other car repairs I may face one day. But my point is I have no savings or money, so a major car repair, I have to use my credit card to pay for it.

And regarding being in debt, my bigger concern is a girl trapping me with pregnancy and then me having to pay her child support, which is more expensive that my escort cost each month. There goes my personal freedom. with my hard earned money going for a kid I would probably never see. That is what the latest Victoria did to me by faking being pregnant. More the reason to always use condoms, not to mention STD protection.  Forced fatherhood is unfair, guy even has one time hookup and she accidentally gets pregnant and does not want abortion, after she has the baby, he is forced to pay child support despite the fact he wants nothing to do with her or the kid and his life is ruined, stuck in the poor house forever.

Yeah I think that because you were homeschooled till highschool, you didn't get the opportunity to talk to girls, or socialize much with anyone, or make many friendships, and you would feel like you missed out on highschool life.

I mean Christianity can be controlling and dictating what is good or bad for you, but you have ultimately taken control of your own life, and decided what would be good or bad for yourself, and the decisions you make is for your own life. 

Prostitutes have flaws in that they have lied, stole from you, and they have STDs, but you are still using their services, because they fill a void in your life that nothing else is able to do at this time. They satisfy your loneliness, and they satisfy your need to rebel, and if you don't have any replacements for those things in your life, you'll just keep going back to them. You're an adult and can do whatever you want to do, but if you want to find a first girlfriend of sorts and be in a long term relationship, being with prostitutes is just not a great way of finding females that would actually care about you in return. 

I know that car payments and maintenence is very costly, and most have to be billed onto a credit card, and I suppose that without the prostitutes, you'd be able to pay off your credit card, and eventually have some savings. I mean if you exclude about 5 to 6 sessions with prostitutes, that would be enough for your car tire payments. 

And yeah, if you have to pay child support, you might not have much of a chance to save much money, and even if you use contraceptives with prostitutes, there's still a risk involved for getting them pregnant, or getting an STD. And it's usually up to the female whether or not she'd like to keep the baby and raise it, and if she does, you're automatically paying child support. 

We live in a society where money and it's movements is for most people the absolute beginning and end of their lives.

If you do not (or cannot) "play the game" as far as money is concerned, our society is structured to carefully disempower you and divest you of all that you have both in terms of posessions and also "opportunity to participate" and then you end up effectively a "hunted animal" if you still refuse to "pay your dues"

The whole process of "collections" includes fees charges and from that point on, punitive interest rates as soon as the complicated process and yoru circumstances allow, meaning that you eventuually pay way more than you owed.

Credit is a nasty trap, where you effectively end up paying (in some cases) 30% extra PER YEAR added to the cost of something you want, to people who despise your lack of fiscal probity and will trun vicious as soon as you run into any problem that affects their cash cow. The way out of it is to pay it down, thus not being recorded as a "deadbeat" which is good in the long and short run, and NEVER BORROW FROM A BANK AGAIN. 

I've tried both approaches now, and the second one only "works" if when the collections agency start tracking you down they find that you went "left the system" fourteen years previously and anyone they do manage to contact who knows you, will not help them... Without being accused of being "unkind" again, I'd suggest from what you have posted so far, you are most unlikely to be able to "stay clear of the gears of society" and if you try defaulting, will get mashed up socially and financially speaking..

Unlike me, you clearly can attract money, so you can "take the hit and move on". And since you are young with your life in front of you, closing off your financial options would probally not work for you at all well. 

I do hoe that helps.

regarding credit card debt, what happens If I just refuse to pay my credit card. Will the credit card company cancel my card and then send my account balance of $9000 to collections and then would collections sue me and garnish my wages? I was not sure because someone told me those are the consequences if I ever tried to just downright never pay my credit card.

Yeah, I agree that you can't change the past, but the past influences the present and the future, but just because you were socially awkward in college (from a lack of socialization, likely due to being homeschooled), it does not mean that you will always be socially awkward, unless you hold onto that view and never let go of it. 

I think that if you feel like you're bad at something, like social awkwardness, you could build upon that skill. I mean, it's just like your tirade with the whole prostitute thing, at first you're sexually awkward, but after having had experience with 34 different women, you know the lingo and the terminology, and how the system works. And the same thing can be applied to socializing. Socializing is a skill, and at first you are awkward, but the more you try to progress in it, the more experience you will get, and the better you will become.

I mean, I've realized that men and women think differently. I'm going to make a huge generalization, but if I put things in terms of baseball, men want to hit a homerun and get the woman to copulate with her as soon as possible.

However, women want things to slowly progress and mature from friends to lovers, so they want to be friends first, to start at first base, then second base, third base, fourth base, tenth base, twentieth base, and it's just a very long time. And sometimes there's no chance for the man, because the woman does not want to have a relationship, and just enjoys spending time with someone as friends, which urks guys who are waiting for a chance and invested a long time to be with that woman. But to woman it's just a platonic friendship.

It's not just about you being attracted to them, it's about them being attracted to you. Them drawn in by you. That they approach you, rather than you approaching them. It's more effective to give people a reason to be impressed by you, and allow them to be motivated to get to know you better.   

But you'd then have to look after a child, ON YOUR OWN which is harder work that paying child support, and I'm not sure you'd enjoy that either... I'm a bit busy right now, so can't give much more of a reply than this right now.

You do seem to be able to see and describe your internal and external situation with unusual honesty and clarity and also seem to be wanting to make a change, so I'm actually quite hopeful that you could be "saved" as the christians call it, reach enlightenment as the bhuddists call it, reach insight as the psychiatrists woudl say, or as I would say, "FIX IT" if you decide that is indeed what you want to do.

But you'd then have to look after a child, ON YOUR OWN which is harder work that paying child support, and I'm not sure you'd enjoy that either... I'm a bit busy right now, so can't give much more of a reply than this right now.

You do seem to be able to see and describe your internal and external situation with unusual honesty and clarity and also seem to be wanting to make a change, so I'm actually quite hopeful that you could be "saved" as the christians call it, reach enlightenment as the bhuddists call it, reach insight as the psychiatrists woudl say, or as I would say, "FIX IT" if you decide that is indeed what you want to do.

We live in a society where money and it's movements is for most people the absolute beginning and end of their lives.

If you do not (or cannot) "play the game" as far as money is concerned, our society is structured to carefully disempower you and divest you of all that you have both in terms of posessions and also "opportunity to participate" and then you end up effectively a "hunted animal" if you still refuse to "pay your dues"

The whole process of "collections" includes fees charges and from that point on, punitive interest rates as soon as the complicated process and yoru circumstances allow, meaning that you eventuually pay way more than you owed.

Credit is a nasty trap, where you effectively end up paying (in some cases) 30% extra PER YEAR added to the cost of something you want, to people who despise your lack of fiscal probity and will trun vicious as soon as you run into any problem that affects their cash cow. The way out of it is to pay it down, thus not being recorded as a "deadbeat" which is good in the long and short run, and NEVER BORROW FROM A BANK AGAIN. 

I've tried both approaches now, and the second one only "works" if when the collections agency start tracking you down they find that you went "left the system" fourteen years previously and anyone they do manage to contact who knows you, will not help them... Without being accused of being "unkind" again, I'd suggest from what you have posted so far, you are most unlikely to be able to "stay clear of the gears of society" and if you try defaulting, will get mashed up socially and financially speaking..

Unlike me, you clearly can attract money, so you can "take the hit and move on". And since you are young with your life in front of you, closing off your financial options would probally not work for you at all well. 

I do hoe that helps.

regarding credit card debt, what happens If I just refuse to pay my credit card. Will the credit card company cancel my card and then send my account balance of $9000 to collections and then would collections sue me and garnish my wages? I was not sure because someone told me those are the consequences if I ever tried to just downright never pay my credit card.