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Going to prostitutes as alternative to dating

Who else (aspergers males) has given up on dating and goes to prostitues instead. I have, I went from being a 30 year old virgin to having slept with 34 different girls in just four years time. First off, I live in the US, where prostitution is illegal, but that is the least of my worries, slap on the wrist misdemeanor crime, I know how to do it and play the "game" without being caught (like how donation is slang for money and I am paying for her time, not to have sex. Like say I give her $100 for half hour, its for her time to spend with me and anything we chose to do together during our time is between two consenting adults). 

I am 34 now. I was stuck a virgin until I was 30. Bad luck with dating, no girl would like me. The main issue I had was girls being turned off by social awardkness. I mean when I approached girls, they shunned me by my rapid speech and my coming onto strong - like too forward without realizing it. Also I tend to stare at girls without realizing it, which creeps them out. For me, I can;t get past the first five minutes without being friendzoned or shunned. Another obstacle I have faced is every single girl I meet already has a boyfriend. Granted some girls say that to guys they want to date, but thanks to social media, I can confirm most girls are taken at young age.

I never dated as a teen or in my 20s. The only time I kissed a girl was when I was 13 in the adolescent psych ward (girl was 14, another patient on the ward). 

I could not take it anymore, so when I was 30, when I was on social media apps, I met a gross old woman almost 60, who agreed to give me free pity sex so I was not a virgin. It wasn't peer pressure, I more wanted to know a vagina looked and felt in person. Awful experience, but I still got to lose my virginity.

Next few months, I met a few more girls for hookups on social apps, but they charged money, so really prostitution. Then something upsetting happened. My mom died from cancer (yep I lost my mom at 30) and a few months later, one of my mom's friends friends whom I was acquainted with (older woman in mid to late 40s) agreed to be friends with benefits and have a sexual relationship with me. I was so excited and thought a dream come true. Just for her to turn around and tell me, she was only joking, what a cruel tease. Then she lied saying I sexually harassed her to cover herself.

That was the final straw, so I gave up and began going to prostitutes. I sought them out on a website called (Deleted by Mod). And I began seeing escorts reguarly paying them for sex. Yes its not easy, its braking my bank, as I pay $300 to $400 a month on this and cannot survive without. Thankfully I have a full time state job, so I am not broke, but still have no emergency savings and owe $9000 on my credit card. Many of these girls are bad drug addicts (hard drugs like heroin, crack or powdered cocaine) or have criminal records. I try to establish regulars and even tried to make friends with these girls, but they take advantage of me. Because I am so nice and trusting and gullible, these girls sucker me into lending them money and never paying back or use me for rides as a free taxi.

I have been threatened, one girl named Valerie threatened to smash my windows and send people to my apartment to physically hurt me. This was after she suckered me into lending her $300 and never paying me back, and I begged her for my money back. 

I have been robbed too. Another girl named Kora who is a chain crack smoker stole my credit card and tried to wire over $900 to Western Union. She also used me to give her rides to buy from her dealer and smoked crack in my car, putting me at risk if police stopped us at traffic stop. A traveling escort from Cali named Abby (whom I saw 3 times) told me she would keep in touch on facebook and then after the last time, told me she was retiring from escorting to join the military but wanted to see me one last time, she would fly to New York to spend 3 days with me, sleep at my apartment and exclusively see me and hang out, she just needed $300 for her airfare. I foolishly sent her the $300 and she took the money and ran, laughed calling me retard. Another druggie on and off prostitute named Jen told me after we got in a fight that laughs at me behind my back when I am not around and refers to me as "Tom the retard" to her friends. 

A long time regular girl named Liz, whom I saw over 20 times, gave me gonnerhea (she let me engage in unprotected vaginal sex, no condom, each time). She had been nice to me in the past, even doing an overnight with me at my apartment for $500 (my only time in my life I have ever had a girl spend the night in my bed) and then as soon as I get sick from her and  confront her, she turns nasty on me and denies giving me the STD and begins hating me, rudely telling me off for good.

And worst of all, the worst girl, the most recent girl named Victoria faked being pregnant with my baby to sucker me into giving her money for a fake abortion pill and then using my money to buy heroin. She really got me and I was scared believing her and she did that. I also had unprotected vaginal sex no condom with her, why I believed her. After realizing she tricked me, I blocked her. But I am scared still, what if by small chance she really is pregnant? I would be trapped and my hard earned money from my state job would go for chuld support for a kid I would never see.

Alot of bad times, but I do it cuz I honestly feel, its my only option for sex and intimacy and dating is impossible. Anyone else? And yes I have now slept with 34 different girls.

Parents
  • Please be careful, it sounds like you are putting yourself in physical danger doing this. If you are happy with paying someone for a purely physical relationship, then please be sensible and pragmatic about how you pursue it. For example, you could make sure you book the same one or two trusted women each time (and abstain if they are not available), budget sensibly for how many times you can afford to get this service each month without getting into further debt and make sure you stick to it, and get yourself regularly tested and treated for any diseases you may contract.   

    Its unfortunate that you feel that this is your only option for human connection, and I would question whether that is true. There is more to an intimate relationship than just the physical, and if you do want to pursue that then, as others have mentioned here, there are lots of books, youtube channels, courses, therapists, etc out there that can help you achieve that. 

  • I do not book any women and this is not an escort service. Most of these girls work independently and live in poor run down motels or ghetto high crime areas and are junkies, they use this money to get their next fixing or to pay their motel room rent (motel rooms are expensive, $75 a day the cheapest). This is why I have encountered such bad experiences as being robbed as anyone knows how addictive illicit drugs are and the measures addicts go to get them (street drugs are quite expensive from what I have heard, like $300 a day - that is why these girls are constantly needing money each day). Also why many of these girls engage in risky behavior such as no condom, unprotected vaginal sex. 

Reply
  • I do not book any women and this is not an escort service. Most of these girls work independently and live in poor run down motels or ghetto high crime areas and are junkies, they use this money to get their next fixing or to pay their motel room rent (motel rooms are expensive, $75 a day the cheapest). This is why I have encountered such bad experiences as being robbed as anyone knows how addictive illicit drugs are and the measures addicts go to get them (street drugs are quite expensive from what I have heard, like $300 a day - that is why these girls are constantly needing money each day). Also why many of these girls engage in risky behavior such as no condom, unprotected vaginal sex. 

Children
  • Sorry I'm with him on this. Calling someone under 40 women in a social context has almost a rude connotation to me. think the distinction between the french madame vs mademoiselle. To call a woman who's marital status you don't know madame can come off rude. No one wants you implying they look older than they are. Remember the use of girl to refer to adult women is normal. eg 'girl power,' 'girls night out / in,' the lyrics of basically every pop song ever etc.

  • It is acceptable in the states. Everyone calls females girls regardless of age. Never heard of Girls night Out, women in their 60s use that term when going out to dinner and having fun letting lose. 
    And no I would never even think about underage females sexually. Age of consent varies state to state, its 17 in New York (where I live), but my rule of thumb is never have sexual relations with any girl under 18.

    And in case anyone wonders, yes 18 is the youngest girl I have slept with. Read my thread and you will read about a traveling escort named Abby who suckered me into lending her $300 or an airfare. When I first met her back in 2019, she was 18 and the youngest girl I ever slept with. I saw her twice, then she disappeared cuz of covid. She finally came back this summer (she is now 20) and then told me she was retiring from escorting to join the military but wanted to spend 3 days with me before she enlisted, she just needed $300 for her airfare, which I foolishly sent to her and she took the money and ran. See above post.

  • Again - Using the term “girl” will unfortunately cause others to think there is an open discussion with a pedophile. 

    While this term may be acceptable in the States, it is not in other countries.