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Disclosure of diagnosis

Jon

I was only diagnosed with Aspergers last year at the age of 39. Its no secret but I just havn't told many people. I don't really have many friends and even then I only see them infrequently. I see little of my family. I have told my work and am off sick as I am not coping there.

I was just wondering what other peoples thoughts and experiences were with regard to telling people about there diagnosis. If you tell someone then they mkisunderstand so you are responsible for giving them all the information. Thats seems hard. I just don't know how to go about telling people in a way they will understand. I suppose that to tell someone there has to be some benift or whats the point? Its definately not a secret though but I just don't want people to misunderstand.

How have other people dealt with telling people they already know or new people?

Undecided

  • Yep Silver, I agree. Deciding when to give them it is important.

    .....I have been putting off the dentist for a while now.....Opticians :-( I really had problems with some new glasses. They were so uncomfortable. The manager was helpful but it was a nightmare going in each time to try and sort them out. They ended up swaping them for a different pair (thumbs up Vision Express). My girlfriend explained about my Aspergers to the manager and that helped but I know they had limited understanding...... but they did try......hopefully I don't need to go back for a few years. The whole process really brought me down...

  • I think that is a great idea Jon.

    I always find it helps to write things down. I have just written half a page for a new dentist. I have been very few times in my life as it is even worse that the opticians. I think one also needs to think about when to give them it as sometimes they will be more receptive than others.

  • I have thinking about two aspects of communicating with people:

    • Their ability or willingness to understand
    • My ability to explain and help them understand

    I suppose this is why i am exploring it oin this forum. I think I would like to develop some wriiten statements that I could use for different people:

    • one for family
    • one for friends
    • one for work
    • one for health professional

    then use them for more tailored and specific situations.

  • Thanks for the posts.

    autismtwo said:

    I'll give you a good example, you tell them you have a problem with X, the say do Y, the y for an asperger conditon is liking jumping out a plane without a parachute, because that is there normal response and action, then they say you don't want help !

     

    Thanks autismtwo, I have to agree thats how it has felt with me on many occaisions. Especialy with CBT.

    If we do not tell anyone then there is no chance of understanding etc.  If we do tell people then there is a chance of understanding etc. 

    Thanks caretwo. I agree that if we don't try to help people understand..... but it is hard. I will check those links out too.

    :-)

  • I really like that poem. Sums up my experience too.

  • the world see's through Nt's eyes, you can explain your condition until you are blue in face, it makes no real difference to them, even the professionals, GP's, socialworkers, etc,, do not have a clue about the condition of Aspergers,, they view from the Nt world. I'll give you a good example, you tell them you have a problem with X, the say do Y, the y for an asperger conditon is liking jumping out a plane without a parachute, because that is there normal response and action, then they say you don't want help !

    They can't see it, because they don't live it by experience. If anything when you tell people you aspergers or autism, they look at you and treat you as a spastic long-term. 

    So, I would not, do not tell anyone unless it is for medical or work reasons, socially you just make the gap bigger. If you are suddenly expecting the world to understand you,, forget it, that is why we talk on the forum, like for like.