Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I’ve had a bad day and I’ve behaved appallingly today towards other people who were frustrating me to the point of meltdown. I’m in my 50’s and it’s embarrassing. A thought occurred to me, do we need to apologise for our behaviour? It’s kinda like apologising for having a disability, which seems wrong.
Yo never need to apologise for being overwhelmed, the meltdown is an involuntary response to stress that your autistic neurology cannot process. Meltdowns are a natural and vital means of re-regulating the autistic nervous system. I know that you might have felt obligated to apologise, but a meltdown is completely out of your control and necessary for you to feel calm again later.
It's not just about you! That's the main issue here. It's about the person that's in the receiving end of your meltdown too. Imagine that the meltdown also involved physical violence and the next day you said nothing but there was the recipient with a broken leg and bruised body. I think they'd feel pretty challenged not to at least hear a 'sorry' and 'are you okay'!! That's how role feel after your meltdowns, broken and bruised. It's caring for the other person's feelings and how they've been traumatized by your meltdown. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!