Issues at work / Things getting too much / Diagnosis

Before you read my monolog (haha), i am running out of options and struggling to find useful people to go to for support and advice without being judged. I feel trapped and helpless. If anyone is able to help with sharing simular experiences to mine below or offer support/advice i would massivly appreciate it. 

I have Self Diagnosed High Functioning Autism. Ive been working in IT for over 10 years now and have been able to deal with my struggles/challenges and used my Autistic traits as a positive drive to build my career. Ive had afew bad experiences caused by my autism but ive managed to not get too negative about them and moved on. 

Early this year i was treated badly in one of my major volunteering roles where in the end i was honest with them about who i am, the challenges i face and suggested reasonable adjustments they could help with in an attempt to fix the issues that was happening. Rather than help they pushed me out and i had no choice to leave. This left me upset, disappointed and im suffering with PTSD like symptoms now which im getting paid mental health support on. 

7 months later im experiencing a simular issue at work where my challenges are getting too much to handle by myself for the first time in my career and i know this is because of what happened 7 months ago playing on my mind thinking "its happening again" and me being more self concious of how i am different, challenges i face and how i respond to them. I dont know whether to tell them, wait for the diagnosis or just walk away. 

If its relevant, the business has gone through a restructuring, 3 rounds of redundancies, now downsizing their office space, our department had our own office where we where settled and happy. We have been moved right in the middle of an open office call centre. Im not coping very well with the sensory overload, having people sat all around me, feeling overwhelmed and not to mention stressed about the lack of covid measures and lack of communication or input regarding the changes, ive talked to my boss and to hr but noone seams to be in a position to change anything or to help. Im at the point of almost resigning as theres no other option, although part of me seams latched onto the business making me want to stay. Im about to have a major outburst or meltdown if it continues much longer.

Im on a waiting list for a formal diagnosis, im hoping that if i have the diagnosis i can approach work with reasonable adjustments and they would have to help and not push my away and if they did there would be legal protection in place. I am also on the waiting list for mental health support, currently im paying for private hemp but cant keep it going for long. Im only just opening up to people about it and i feel now is the right time for me to start getting support for my autism and maybe look to join support groups to help me through some challenges im facing or will face in the future.

Has anyone experienced simular situations, had positive/negative outcomes of a formal diagnosis or disclosing the condition to a workplace (Whether self or formal diagnosed). Thanks in advance for your help & support.

Parents
  • I work in education and they have been supportive but i dont think it's officially on my records.

    me being more self concious of how i am different, challenges i face and how i respond to them.

    Yes, I do find since my diagnosis, I'm speaking my mind a bit more and being more assertive to my needs (still have a long way to go though), whereas in the past I've very much been a people pleaser. I need to be careful.

    I too feel latched onto where I work as I've been there a long time. Fitting in is quite important to me in the workplace over other things but it's meaning I'm staying somewhere which isn't suitable for me. 

    I'm mid thirties and I do feel life is getting harder to manage than ten years ago.

    I was recently told about Access to Work which I didn't know anything about. I was told because i have a formal diagnosis (mine is private) I can apply for ATW and they will pay for autism centred coaching which will help me manage myself and autism related stress at work. Maybe look into that.

    Sorry I haven't really answered your question though! 

Reply
  • I work in education and they have been supportive but i dont think it's officially on my records.

    me being more self concious of how i am different, challenges i face and how i respond to them.

    Yes, I do find since my diagnosis, I'm speaking my mind a bit more and being more assertive to my needs (still have a long way to go though), whereas in the past I've very much been a people pleaser. I need to be careful.

    I too feel latched onto where I work as I've been there a long time. Fitting in is quite important to me in the workplace over other things but it's meaning I'm staying somewhere which isn't suitable for me. 

    I'm mid thirties and I do feel life is getting harder to manage than ten years ago.

    I was recently told about Access to Work which I didn't know anything about. I was told because i have a formal diagnosis (mine is private) I can apply for ATW and they will pay for autism centred coaching which will help me manage myself and autism related stress at work. Maybe look into that.

    Sorry I haven't really answered your question though! 

Children
  • Hi Thanks, For your response. 

    Its reassuring to hear that its not just me feeling like life is getting harder haha. I also feel like thats the main reason i stay in my job, because of routine, i know where i stand and am good at what i do. Moving jobs creates more negative emotions and anxiety. 

    I will have alook at Access to Work. Im on a waiting list for the NHS Diagnosis, so i may look into a private one. But ive seen somewhere that private diagnosis are not always accepted.