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Accepting Criticism

Paul

Has anyone got any tips on how to better accept criticism?  I am terrible, as my wife will attest but now I know the reason why I find it so hard, is there anything I can do about it?

Parents

  • Yes, I think the first question is: is the criticism warranted?  That takes some time to work out and requires being really honest with yourself.  If it is warranted then the person is offering you a gift; something that perhaps you can change or at least be mindful of in future.

    If you think it isn't warranted - ignore it, but do remember the other person is entitled to their view even if you don't agree.

    But do take care.  Some criticism is not only not warranted but intended to manipulate you or purposefully make you feel inadequate.  It's bullying.

    Telling the difference between these scenarios is the first hard part, especially as requires being sure of the other person's motive.

    Managing the emotional response to it, whatever the intention of the other person, is second hard part.

    I only wish I had some magic answers to both these questions.

Reply

  • Yes, I think the first question is: is the criticism warranted?  That takes some time to work out and requires being really honest with yourself.  If it is warranted then the person is offering you a gift; something that perhaps you can change or at least be mindful of in future.

    If you think it isn't warranted - ignore it, but do remember the other person is entitled to their view even if you don't agree.

    But do take care.  Some criticism is not only not warranted but intended to manipulate you or purposefully make you feel inadequate.  It's bullying.

    Telling the difference between these scenarios is the first hard part, especially as requires being sure of the other person's motive.

    Managing the emotional response to it, whatever the intention of the other person, is second hard part.

    I only wish I had some magic answers to both these questions.

Children
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