Baby

Hi there I'm Cassidy and I'm need of some advice please.

I have Autism which I do struggle with on a daily basis, don't we all? I mostly struggle with noise, going out, talking and things breaking my usual routine. Somehow I managed to get in a relationship and it's going ok. I don't think I'm an amazing girlfriend but he seems to like me so I guess that's nice.

But recently he's started talking about us having a baby. And I'm not really sure what to do. He tells me I'd be a great mum but I don't think I would. I have meltdowns a lot. And I can't stand babies, nothing personal I just don't like the constant crying and being sick :/ But lately he's getting really pushy and when we have intercourse he takes off protection even though I tell him not to. I don't think I want to get pregnant. There's a lot of factors here working against me. I think I'd be a terrible mum and I've also got a brain tumour which I haven't told anyone about yet. That's something else I need help with. I'm going to die and I don't know how to tell my mum, dad and sisters and brother. It's getting bigger all the time and sometimes I faint. I told my boyfriend the fainting is related to my low vitamin intake.

Not sure what to do about both things.