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Advice for the future

Pagea

Hi

I would be very grateful if any autistic adults could pass on any tips or advice about how to help our son as he grows up. What, as parents should we be doing or not doing to make his life successful? He’s 11, really bright and we just want him to have the biggest chance of having an enjoyable, successful, independent life as an adult. 
If you don’t mind saying, what do you wish your parents had or had not done?

I understand everyone is different but would love to hear your thoughts. 

Many thanks. 

Parents

  • I look back and remember the parts of my childhood where my mother reacted to me like there was something very weird and very wrong with me. This has stayed with me.

    She couldn't help but react how she genuinely felt, after all it is a parents job to equip and prepare their children for the realities of the outside world. And My God this world is not set up for Autistic people. It does not have the faintest glimmer of comprehension. I was doing weird things, in weird ways. Sigh,  I cant help but wish Autism was a known thing back then and that my mother would just have happened to be informed about the characteristics. I know my mother loved me, and wasn't doing these things out of spite or meanness, although it might have felt like that!

    It's a tough one. I don't blame my mother, she probably reacted to my behaviours just as most "neuro typical" people in society would have. It's a tough balancing act I would say between acceptance of how your son manifests his characteristics, and preparing him for the realities of how he will be treated in life.

    One thing to bear in mind though is that confidence goes a very long way. so I would err on the side of helping his confidence, rather than pointing out his weaknesses and shortcomings. My mother definitely did not help me by doing that. With confidence a person will automatically be treated a whole lot better, and will find life a whole lot easier.

Reply

  • I look back and remember the parts of my childhood where my mother reacted to me like there was something very weird and very wrong with me. This has stayed with me.

    She couldn't help but react how she genuinely felt, after all it is a parents job to equip and prepare their children for the realities of the outside world. And My God this world is not set up for Autistic people. It does not have the faintest glimmer of comprehension. I was doing weird things, in weird ways. Sigh,  I cant help but wish Autism was a known thing back then and that my mother would just have happened to be informed about the characteristics. I know my mother loved me, and wasn't doing these things out of spite or meanness, although it might have felt like that!

    It's a tough one. I don't blame my mother, she probably reacted to my behaviours just as most "neuro typical" people in society would have. It's a tough balancing act I would say between acceptance of how your son manifests his characteristics, and preparing him for the realities of how he will be treated in life.

    One thing to bear in mind though is that confidence goes a very long way. so I would err on the side of helping his confidence, rather than pointing out his weaknesses and shortcomings. My mother definitely did not help me by doing that. With confidence a person will automatically be treated a whole lot better, and will find life a whole lot easier.

Children
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