colleagues

I've been in a similar position, where I thought I was really good friends with my colleagues and then I found out I wasn't invited to things with the group outside work. I try to brush it off but even if you don't want to go to something, it's still nice to at least be invited. 

At least you don't have to invent excuses to not go. Or go and then have to spend most of the time hiding in the toilet. Or is that just me?

Ah, the memories of hiding in the toilet.  I did this at some workplaces a LOT and it felt like the only way of getting by.  Well that and occasional sick leave.  

Years later I felt really upset to learn that our son had been doing the same at college but hadn't told us.  It was one of the things that might have led to an earlier diagnosis, well, if services were at all clued up anyway.  

Mind you, I hadn't mentioned to my son that I used to hide in the toilets too.  Or feign illness.  Even years later I was automatically hiding such things from my family, not just colleagues.  At work I knew that my extreme anxiety wouldn't be understood, I wouldn't get any empathy and i knew I was in the company of people who only considered physical illnesses to be real.  But the habit of hiding my issues carried over into the rest of my life.  

Ah, the memories of hiding in the toilet.  I did this at some workplaces a LOT and it felt like the only way of getting by.  Well that and occasional sick leave.  

Years later I felt really upset to learn that our son had been doing the same at college but hadn't told us.  It was one of the things that might have led to an earlier diagnosis, well, if services were at all clued up anyway.  

Mind you, I hadn't mentioned to my son that I used to hide in the toilets too.  Or feign illness.  Even years later I was automatically hiding such things from my family, not just colleagues.  At work I knew that my extreme anxiety wouldn't be understood, I wouldn't get any empathy and i knew I was in the company of people who only considered physical illnesses to be real.  But the habit of hiding my issues carried over into the rest of my life.  

I think that it often feels as though it's only you, particularly if you're in an office where everyone else seems to be in on all the jokes and coping effortlessly with the social aspects of work.  I do however remember a couple of occasions when I bumped into others who also seemed to be using the toilets as a refuge.  And I once bumped into someone from HR who'd obviously been bawling her eyes out for some time, sitting in an out the of the way corner.  

So many of my experiences made me very guarded about what I chose to share at work, as if I would be handing them ammunition that could be used against me on future occasions.  Wish I'd felt able to walk away sooner.  

Its so comforting to know other people do it too. I dont really have the time too in my current job but i wish I could. I used to do it loads in my other jobs 

I used to do this too. Not got the same need to hide now but who knows, maybe I'll have another job in the future that strikes fear in me!

Oh my goodness, I have spent hours hiding in the toilets at work! I used to do it all the time. I thought it was just me. Its such a comfort to know other people do it too