Hi I'm new here, not sure where to start with this but I guess I'll go with the fact that, at nearly 40yrs of age, I have realised that it's quite likely I'm autistic. I won't go into all the reasons why this has finally come to mind, because tbh, I think I'm struggling with how I'm feeling about it atm. I kind of feel like my head is a mess and I've got a huge mixture of emotions that I need to try and work through now.
All my children are autistic and (this is going to sound so bad 
), but I have a really difficult relationship with one of them. We clash so much and I don't know why. I'm realising I have my own difficulties and these make it hard for me to always be able to be there in the way he always needs me to be as mum. He is an adult now & living independently but still asks for me to help all the time with lots of things. I am a single parent & can't always find enough hours in the day to get everything done that everyone needs. I am really forgetful too, even if I have things written down to remind me, I still forget! I can't focus properly when I have so much to do. He gets really stressed with me with having to say no or to change plans, or if I don't pick up the phone or reply to a message straight away and I just can't keep up. I'm exhausted.
With myself being (unofficially) autistic, as well as my children - particularly my son, how can I make our relationship better? I haven't told anyone yet that I'm pretty sure I'm autistic too, part of me is scared to I guess in case I'm wrong
