How can I control my aggression towards others?

I'm 18 years old and I learned I was autistic about 6 or 7 months ago, although I haven't had an official diagnosis yet. I've always been an aggressive child, and I used to hit and shout at my brother and sister when things wouldn't go my way. I don't do this as much, but I do when I get really angry and frustrated. I was so mad once that I hit my mum. I know that its wrong to hit and be aggressive towards people but I do it anyway because I want to do things my way. Am I a bad person for doing this, and how can I get better? 

I also get aggressive towards my boyfriend over text, for example when he's busy and doesn't tell me, because i feel like he doesn't care about me and doesn't prioritize me. I say really nasty stuff to him sometimes, and I just get so angry. How can I learn to control this or take it out in a controlled manner? Please help. 

Parents
  • Hi There - Sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment but hey it's awesome that you have come here for support and advice! So, I have posted some links below that might be useful - they mainly talk about triggers that set off behaviour (such as agression), some of the content might be aimed to people younger than yourself but I figured it may still be useful for you? Anyways here they are:

    Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory 

     You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk.  They also have an information and support service which you can contact by phone or email – details can be found here: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/for-family-carers/family-support-service/ 

    Wishing you the best!

    SarahMod

Reply
  • Hi There - Sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment but hey it's awesome that you have come here for support and advice! So, I have posted some links below that might be useful - they mainly talk about triggers that set off behaviour (such as agression), some of the content might be aimed to people younger than yourself but I figured it may still be useful for you? Anyways here they are:

    Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies. You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory 

     You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk.  They also have an information and support service which you can contact by phone or email – details can be found here: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/for-family-carers/family-support-service/ 

    Wishing you the best!

    SarahMod

Children
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