Published on 12, July, 2020
Has anyone else struggled? Apart from when I was very young I only have very short term relationships- usually about 3 months, and I’m usually the one to end them. It can be years in between relationships though. I’ve always been awful at judging how to get across to someone that I’m interested, sometimes I try anyway and it may or may not go well - I often do cringeworthy things like fail to notice a wedding ring or something. Sometimes though I don’t really understand what I could have done differently, other than be a bit more forward on the times where I didn’t speak up enough - it’s just my difficulty understanding signals over the years, even though I believe I’m better now, as well as generally being an absent minded, daydreaming oddball (even if the women I’ve been with have assured me they find my appearance very attractive), has totally sapped my confidence. I have almost zero success with dating apps.
I expect a lot of this is more a problem for autistic men, as it’s normally men who do the asking, but I suppose for autistic women there are other relationship difficulties?
It would be interesting to know if anyone has had similar experiences, and if they have any advice.
Thanks
I feel you here! I haven't had a relationship since I was 17 I'm 24 now, I struggle with doing 'normal' things like going clubbing or spontaneous days out or literally anything outside I've always said to myself if I find someone who can love me for me, I will marry them. Fyi I don't believe in marriage really but I would make an exception
I know the feeling. I think the assurance of knowing you've got someone you love by your side gives marriage an appeal, even if, like you, I don't really think a lot of marriage as an institution.
At 34 I don't think I'll be going clubbing much anymore, although when I descend back into drinking too much it does happen! I never liked clubs without being drunk though, and this is the problem - I much prefer libraries and art galleries than pubs and clubs, however, as a drinker I thrived on the nightlife. It's just unfortunate that I can't be moderate enough to enjoy a sensible amount...
I found someone like me when I least expected it. the same might happen for you
I love pubs but only quiet ones. I hate clubs! I feel so peaceful in a nice bookshop, its so much better
It's nice to know people get it! Also yes drinking became a bit of an issue for me so I stopped and haven't drunk in a good few years. But back to the subject I would love it if people appreciated a, Books and museums as much as they appreciate pubs/clubs and cinemas.
Well you never know one day I might feel love for someone who knows
I am the same. I love libraries and bookshops. I used to be a massive drinker and go clubbing a lot but now I would hate the idea of a nightclub,
I still like a drink but I dont like getting drunk anymore. Aside from everything else, I hate the feeling of not being in control