@ autismtwo - I’d never heard of the term ‘constructive dismissal’ before but that’s exactly how I feel things are going, that I’m being ‘set up’ for being fired.After googling it a few other things have cropped up into my head such as the boss keeping a log of every time I’m late.In the last year when I’ve been late it’s been one of the hottest topics for a row.He goes bananas about it if I waltz in 2 minutes late.I have been late a few times, never more than 5 minutes late, usually we’re only talking 1 or 2 minutes late but it drives him mad.(My lateness is due to unforeseen circumstances either before setting off to work or on my way to work.)I always tell him sorry and I’ll make up the time and that it’s only a couple of minutes but my attitude about it really riles him.I thought he kept the log because he’s sad but perhaps there’s other motivations.
Also he’s put some Draytec software on so that social networking sites are blocked and I’m pretty sure all websites I visit are being logged for him to see.There was a big conspiracy about it before it got put on, days of serious whispering and door closing episodes and hush hush phonecalls with the IT people, I was the only person to not know it was being put on prior to it being put on.I guess this is another way to gather evidence against me for wrong-doing.
I had a room mate a few years back who got fired.She worked there seven years and had a serious drink problem.Frankly it was ridiculous that he didn’t fire her sooner as she took huge amounts of time off “sick”, would come in hours late or not at all on a regular basis, would come in totally sloshed, she could be abusive whist sloshed and there was plenty of days she made it to her seat and slept through the entire day until it was time to leave.He smartened up in the end and began to try and fire her ‘by the book’, getting lots of advice from his legal people and it took months before he did dismiss her.There was a tribunal but she didn’t turn up for it, I imagine she was probably still in bed sloshed.
Last year I was given a massive contract to sign, the boss said it was because he didn’t want to get into the situation that happened with my last room mate.I signed it because I felt I didn’t have any choice, he kept asking for the signed copy back, eventually I signed it in front of him but told him I still haven’t gotten round to reading it.He wasn’t bothered that I hadn’t read it, he just wanted it signed.I guess if I start legal things about my situation I may have actually of signed my own death warrant.Perhaps I’ve agreed to things that can let him fire me because I’ve broke my contract in ways.I no doubt have.I read the first few pages (it was War & Peace) and each section I thought was over-the-top with mean petty rules.Although I’m good at my job I guess I’ve broken lots of the rules.Surely this will be a way for him to wriggle out of how he treats me?He’s got his own legal people and I know very little about that sort of stuff, to try and do something against him is a scary prospect, I’m not sure I’d win a case.There’ll be wrong on both sides, I may end up with egg on my face getting into something I don’t really understand when I don’t have a halo over my head myself.Surely if I got a solicitor that would cost me a lot?Isn’t there a way to get one for free?Or perhaps for me to find someone with intelligence to be on my side fighting the case on my behalf?
BTW autismtwo, the boss would no way let me go part time.He’s extremely fussy and rigid about my hours.If I want to leave early for personal reasons I’m not allowed to, even if I offer to come in early to make the time up.In the whole 14 years of me being there if ever I’ve come in 50 minutes early due to me getting a lift to work he’ll never let me go home 50 minutes early or pay me.It’s an absolute no no.Hence a corker row we had a year ago about holiday leave.I tried booking some days off and he refused those days so I tried booking less days off and asked if I could go home half an hour early on some of the days he refused to let me have off.He told me we don’t do flexi-time (well shouted in a fit of anger) and I decided what-the-hell and to row with him about it as I had plans and wanted to be somewhere and for the 13 years prior there’d been many a time I’d come in 50 minutes early.Some days he even had the cheek to shout at me if his clock said 4.59pm and I was leaving.(My watch and his clock were slightly different).It was irrelevant in his mind that I’d actually done 50 minutes extra time every day that week.I’d get so much flack if it was 4.59pm or dot on 5pm.I found it very insulting and during our row I said from that moment on I wouldn’t never come in early again if there’s no thanks or appreciation whatsoever for my unpaid overtime or flexibility in my hours when I need it.That argument and my backchat to him was the catalyst to the last year of abuse and hounding from him.
@ ocean – No I’m not in a union.But yeah, speaking to Citizens Advice is a good idea.
I don’t have a tape recorder.Gosh getting one would be very 007 and spy-like, lol.
I do have major incidents of events mentioned in my diaries over the years which I could revert to although I don’t bother writing down everything that happens at work as nastiness is just a daily thing.
@ ocean / Mike –When I next have a day off (next Tuesday) I’ll phone that NAS number.That’s probably the best initial step and if they don’t know all proper legalities with workplaces then Citizens Advice will be the next number I phone.
I too have been thinking perhaps I should stay off work with stress although I’ve been reluctant as it’s like drawing a sword.The boss would go ape.He’d go ape that I’d dare to do such a thing which will make our relationship even more strained and he’d go ape that there would be no one to do my work whilst I’m off.I’ll discuss this on the phoneline/s.Part of me wants to resolve the situation and smooth things over and stay.I asked my mother to phone my boss and defend how I am and explain symptoms of Aspegrers to him properly so he’d ease off me but she wouldn’t.Another part of me wants to fight fire with fire.Although my attitude at work is a bit off and I am a bit rude when flung into confrontational situations I’ve never given the boss a proper mouthful or told him what I think of him. I mean he is the man who pays my wages and with that I mind I can’t.I’m not too sure about employment law and if he can fire me for pretty much anything but if he can’t I could start acting a proper awkward b*tch.If he thinks I’m an awkward b*tch now and rude, he’s seen nothing.But once I do draw the sword like that then there’s no going back really.My days would be limited as I’m sure he’d find some reason to fire me on some grounds I can’t defend or claim unfair dismissal for.I’ll phone NAS and see what they say before I do anything.
@ autismtwo - I’d never heard of the term ‘constructive dismissal’ before but that’s exactly how I feel things are going, that I’m being ‘set up’ for being fired.After googling it a few other things have cropped up into my head such as the boss keeping a log of every time I’m late.In the last year when I’ve been late it’s been one of the hottest topics for a row.He goes bananas about it if I waltz in 2 minutes late.I have been late a few times, never more than 5 minutes late, usually we’re only talking 1 or 2 minutes late but it drives him mad.(My lateness is due to unforeseen circumstances either before setting off to work or on my way to work.)I always tell him sorry and I’ll make up the time and that it’s only a couple of minutes but my attitude about it really riles him.I thought he kept the log because he’s sad but perhaps there’s other motivations.
Also he’s put some Draytec software on so that social networking sites are blocked and I’m pretty sure all websites I visit are being logged for him to see.There was a big conspiracy about it before it got put on, days of serious whispering and door closing episodes and hush hush phonecalls with the IT people, I was the only person to not know it was being put on prior to it being put on.I guess this is another way to gather evidence against me for wrong-doing.
I had a room mate a few years back who got fired.She worked there seven years and had a serious drink problem.Frankly it was ridiculous that he didn’t fire her sooner as she took huge amounts of time off “sick”, would come in hours late or not at all on a regular basis, would come in totally sloshed, she could be abusive whist sloshed and there was plenty of days she made it to her seat and slept through the entire day until it was time to leave.He smartened up in the end and began to try and fire her ‘by the book’, getting lots of advice from his legal people and it took months before he did dismiss her.There was a tribunal but she didn’t turn up for it, I imagine she was probably still in bed sloshed.
Last year I was given a massive contract to sign, the boss said it was because he didn’t want to get into the situation that happened with my last room mate.I signed it because I felt I didn’t have any choice, he kept asking for the signed copy back, eventually I signed it in front of him but told him I still haven’t gotten round to reading it.He wasn’t bothered that I hadn’t read it, he just wanted it signed.I guess if I start legal things about my situation I may have actually of signed my own death warrant.Perhaps I’ve agreed to things that can let him fire me because I’ve broke my contract in ways.I no doubt have.I read the first few pages (it was War & Peace) and each section I thought was over-the-top with mean petty rules.Although I’m good at my job I guess I’ve broken lots of the rules.Surely this will be a way for him to wriggle out of how he treats me?He’s got his own legal people and I know very little about that sort of stuff, to try and do something against him is a scary prospect, I’m not sure I’d win a case.There’ll be wrong on both sides, I may end up with egg on my face getting into something I don’t really understand when I don’t have a halo over my head myself.Surely if I got a solicitor that would cost me a lot?Isn’t there a way to get one for free?Or perhaps for me to find someone with intelligence to be on my side fighting the case on my behalf?
BTW autismtwo, the boss would no way let me go part time.He’s extremely fussy and rigid about my hours.If I want to leave early for personal reasons I’m not allowed to, even if I offer to come in early to make the time up.In the whole 14 years of me being there if ever I’ve come in 50 minutes early due to me getting a lift to work he’ll never let me go home 50 minutes early or pay me.It’s an absolute no no.Hence a corker row we had a year ago about holiday leave.I tried booking some days off and he refused those days so I tried booking less days off and asked if I could go home half an hour early on some of the days he refused to let me have off.He told me we don’t do flexi-time (well shouted in a fit of anger) and I decided what-the-hell and to row with him about it as I had plans and wanted to be somewhere and for the 13 years prior there’d been many a time I’d come in 50 minutes early.Some days he even had the cheek to shout at me if his clock said 4.59pm and I was leaving.(My watch and his clock were slightly different).It was irrelevant in his mind that I’d actually done 50 minutes extra time every day that week.I’d get so much flack if it was 4.59pm or dot on 5pm.I found it very insulting and during our row I said from that moment on I wouldn’t never come in early again if there’s no thanks or appreciation whatsoever for my unpaid overtime or flexibility in my hours when I need it.That argument and my backchat to him was the catalyst to the last year of abuse and hounding from him.
@ ocean – No I’m not in a union.But yeah, speaking to Citizens Advice is a good idea.
I don’t have a tape recorder.Gosh getting one would be very 007 and spy-like, lol.
I do have major incidents of events mentioned in my diaries over the years which I could revert to although I don’t bother writing down everything that happens at work as nastiness is just a daily thing.
@ ocean / Mike –When I next have a day off (next Tuesday) I’ll phone that NAS number.That’s probably the best initial step and if they don’t know all proper legalities with workplaces then Citizens Advice will be the next number I phone.
I too have been thinking perhaps I should stay off work with stress although I’ve been reluctant as it’s like drawing a sword.The boss would go ape.He’d go ape that I’d dare to do such a thing which will make our relationship even more strained and he’d go ape that there would be no one to do my work whilst I’m off.I’ll discuss this on the phoneline/s.Part of me wants to resolve the situation and smooth things over and stay.I asked my mother to phone my boss and defend how I am and explain symptoms of Aspegrers to him properly so he’d ease off me but she wouldn’t.Another part of me wants to fight fire with fire.Although my attitude at work is a bit off and I am a bit rude when flung into confrontational situations I’ve never given the boss a proper mouthful or told him what I think of him. I mean he is the man who pays my wages and with that I mind I can’t.I’m not too sure about employment law and if he can fire me for pretty much anything but if he can’t I could start acting a proper awkward b*tch.If he thinks I’m an awkward b*tch now and rude, he’s seen nothing.But once I do draw the sword like that then there’s no going back really.My days would be limited as I’m sure he’d find some reason to fire me on some grounds I can’t defend or claim unfair dismissal for.I’ll phone NAS and see what they say before I do anything.
