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Told off for not being excited enough

Magnolia1

My husband and I don't properly argue like with shouting or anything but we do have frustrating moments. 

I go told off for not being excited enough when he told me about something to do with his work. He says I talk to him about my obsession and he pretends to be interested but I don't do it for him .

So, I made a conscious decision not to talk to him about my obsession and he told me he wasn't going to bother telling me about his stuff anymore.  

The result of this is we have not really spoken about anything other than our child in the last 2 days and there has been a lot of awkward silence.  

I tried to explain to him that I didn't do it on purpose but he just can't seem to understand. 

  • in reply to ☕Tassimo ☕

    It's been good for 20 years. 

    He says I act differently since I got diagnosed 2 years ago. 

    I have apologised to him several times but he won't apologise to me despite the fact I have spent the last 2 evenings having extreme crying fits.  

  • Magnolia1 said:
    He says I talk to him about my obsession and he pretends to be interested but I don't do it for him .

    This is wrong on so many levels. If either one of you is pretending in your relationship, then the relationship is not a healthy one. How long has he been pretending to be interested in your life? Since you had your child or since you met?

    Magnolia1 said:
    The result of this is we have not really spoken about anything other than our child in the last 2 days and there has been a lot of awkward silence. 

    Before you had your child was your relationship a good one?

  • in reply to Jamie

    We had a conversation on what's app last night but he is still digging his heels in and refuses to say sorry. 

    I feel like the big bad wolf and we still haven't solved it. 

  • If you would like to take it upon yourself to fix this silence; a simple I'm sorry, I'll try to do better in future, I would still love to hear about your day, could most likely fix the 2day silence. Not talking can likely aggravate the situation.

    Though that's just as much his fault as it is yours for letting it last that long.

    As for reducing the chance of a similar occurrence you would want to look for his emotional expressions such as laughing smiling, a  higher pitch tone in voice that would express his happiness about what he is talking about and then you can without exactly copying them provide a similar variant of them in return.

    I wrote some information about empathy at the link below though it's mostly written for sadness, the learning and questioning in it can be applied here as well.

    community.autism.org.uk/.../empathy

  • Hi Magnolia1. When my OH and I get into a battle of silence when we've fallen out. I usually find that one thing sorts this out. That would be my advice.

    Regarding the words that were said. He has said that he pretends to be interested and that you have said the same -, surely this puts you both at an equal position to work from.  So the fact that he can't cope with this sounds complicated. In my relationship, we both pretend to be interested and I'm sure that my acting often let's me down. My OH says he can read me very easily!

    Anyway, I'm hoping that by now, you have worked things out.