Partner

Hello,

I am recently self-diagnosed in my mid 30s. My partner of 7 years was initially receptive when I shared the news two months ago. Now he says I’m “using it as an excuse” whenever I explain my behaviour as being part of my autism traits. I don’t know what to do or say when he makes comments such as this. It’s incredibly hurtful. 

Parents
  • I've stayed in situations where I've been not believed, dismissed, bulldozed, and left to fend on my own. One was also 7 years. This is really hurtful. Hearing things like this said to me made me wonder if the other person really even cared. He did in his own way, I suppose, but he was careless with his words and in the end, I became tired of trying to teach him anything.

    I've also been told I take on more responsibility than I need to, I'm hyper-vigilant, I work incredibly hard and still try and chose to be kind. I'd rather have freedom and a difficult journey than less freedom, a difficult journey AND someone making it even harder. 

    What 'behaviour' is unfavourable for him? What does he not appreciate. Mind, it's taken years for me to be able to communicate better, recognise what individuals are saying and respond better, so it might be that he cannot understand what you are trying to express, but a response like this is still uncalled for. He must feel there's something unfair.

    If you're happy and this dismissal is out of the ordinary, perhaps he needs more information on what your skills are so he can stop focusing on your weaknesses and play like a team. Would he move the best goalie because a player should be able to help the team win no matter what line of defence they're playing?

Reply
  • I've stayed in situations where I've been not believed, dismissed, bulldozed, and left to fend on my own. One was also 7 years. This is really hurtful. Hearing things like this said to me made me wonder if the other person really even cared. He did in his own way, I suppose, but he was careless with his words and in the end, I became tired of trying to teach him anything.

    I've also been told I take on more responsibility than I need to, I'm hyper-vigilant, I work incredibly hard and still try and chose to be kind. I'd rather have freedom and a difficult journey than less freedom, a difficult journey AND someone making it even harder. 

    What 'behaviour' is unfavourable for him? What does he not appreciate. Mind, it's taken years for me to be able to communicate better, recognise what individuals are saying and respond better, so it might be that he cannot understand what you are trying to express, but a response like this is still uncalled for. He must feel there's something unfair.

    If you're happy and this dismissal is out of the ordinary, perhaps he needs more information on what your skills are so he can stop focusing on your weaknesses and play like a team. Would he move the best goalie because a player should be able to help the team win no matter what line of defence they're playing?

Children
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