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NAS75792

Hello,

I am recently self-diagnosed in my mid 30s. My partner of 7 years was initially receptive when I shared the news two months ago. Now he says I’m “using it as an excuse” whenever I explain my behaviour as being part of my autism traits. I don’t know what to do or say when he makes comments such as this. It’s incredibly hurtful. 

Parents

  • I agree with Tassimo you need to tell him that you are hurt and also maybe he needs to explain exactly why he feels the need to make the comments. Was there a strain on your relationship before that he thought might suddenly go away or be able to “get better” with a diagnosis and that’s why he was initially happy with the news? My husband has quite severe executive functioning issues but I’m the breadwinner, despite the fact he physically can’t get going with things a lot of the time there is absolutely no way I can work, make sure our daughter is where she needs to be, clean the entire house after everyone (including his friends who come round for gaming nights and leave glasses and takeaway containers everywhere) we still have to meet in the middle but the middle can be a larger area not a line bang on 50% if that makes sense, and fluid depending on what the issue is (we’re both on the spectrum but have quite different traits in some areas, he’s better at some things than I am)

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  • I agree with Tassimo you need to tell him that you are hurt and also maybe he needs to explain exactly why he feels the need to make the comments. Was there a strain on your relationship before that he thought might suddenly go away or be able to “get better” with a diagnosis and that’s why he was initially happy with the news? My husband has quite severe executive functioning issues but I’m the breadwinner, despite the fact he physically can’t get going with things a lot of the time there is absolutely no way I can work, make sure our daughter is where she needs to be, clean the entire house after everyone (including his friends who come round for gaming nights and leave glasses and takeaway containers everywhere) we still have to meet in the middle but the middle can be a larger area not a line bang on 50% if that makes sense, and fluid depending on what the issue is (we’re both on the spectrum but have quite different traits in some areas, he’s better at some things than I am)

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