Stigma of ASD and work colleagues

How have you dealt with receiving a late (adult) diagnosis of ASD - have you told work colleagues?

The reason I'm considering this is because I feel the need to explain why I can be inflexible, my memory is awful and if I have to cover someone else's work it can be really stressful because if I don't do something routinely I struggle. I sometimes have to ask how to do something which can be humiliating because I should know how to do it, I'm more senior and I've been in the job for longer!

I don't trust or particularly get on with most of my work colleagues. There's a big age gap and they're all females with strong personalities (my worst nightmare!) I have never disclosed my depression diagnosis to them because I don't trust them with such personal information about me and I cannot stop myself from thinking people still see it as a weakness, a character flaw.

Even in my own head the image of someone with ASD is of someone who walks on their toes, flaps their hands, can't talk coherently, can't do a job, needs care, etc. I know I'm not like that, that I'm on the high functioning end of the spectrum but the terms 'autism' and 'ASD' still conjure that up for me. I imagine that's a common way of envisioning someone who's on the spectrum.

Maybe my need to let people know I'm on the spectrum is because I feel like I need to be 'excused' for being the way I am. I have always struggled because I need so much acceptance and validation from people. I find with most people it's not forthcoming. I only wish they would treat me the way I treat them in terms of acceptance and giving credit where credit's due.

  • I have bipolar and am autistic. I have not told my employer I am autistic, but occupational health asked my consent to let my employer know that I am covered by the Disability Discrimination Act for my bipolar. I have not told my colleagues, and I wouldn't tell them until I feel safe doing so. I have never used reasonable adjustments, but have not really needed them. I would go for getting covered by the DDA first.

    As for accepting yourself, I have been told that one of the best things is peer support. And I hope that is what you will find here.

    I am autistic and different from the those who are not-autistic. I am learning to accept that. Be kind to yourself.

  • I have wondered this myself but I don't think people have noticed a lot of things that I have found awkward. I don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone. Don't look for validation from others, it comes from within. It might not make any difference to them. You might find its probably more of a big deal for you than it is for others. I've told some people and its been "oh right. OK. " + very brief discussion then we moved on. 

    I'm not saying this is you, but I have a friend who is very courteous and well mannered. She expects this from others. This is viewing people through her own lens of herself. It causes her frustration and stress. She needs to accept that everyone is their own autonomous agent with different standards and behaviours which you have no control over.