Supporting my wife

As Tassimo said, and others have implied, that's a very open ended question and it depends on the nature of your wife's autism and how it manifests itself, as well as your own personality.

But you're asking that question, which is GREAT. I can't tell you how important that is. It speaks volumes about you, all of it positive.  Massively, massively positive.   

I, too, have an intelligent, loving, wonderful partner; with hindsight (never at the time) I realise the patience she's sometimes deployed with me; she's a strong, resilient, incredible woman and I am so, so lucky that she is who she is. I'll never underestimate the importance of that, but I don't always realise that she's having a difficult time, until afterwards, because I'm running one operating system and she's running a different one.   

You're reading, and researching, and asking questions, so that you can come at this from a more informed base.  My wife does the same. How bloody fantastic is that?  And what more could anyone ask? 

The two of you will have to work this out and it may take time. There isn't a manual. But I'm guessing you'll be fine.   

This wouldn't work for everyone but I have a strong affinity for dogs and can emotionally connect with them and so does my wife.  I love training them, and engaging with with, and again, so does she.  I don't know how to describe this but the shared love of our German Shepherd (and his predecessor, also a Shepherd) is important.  The dog, by the way, doesn't care if you have autism or not; if you treat a dog right, they'll just love you, unconditionally.  That wouldn't be everyone's thing, but it's terrific, for us.   

I would say listen, hard, even to the small things.  Don't worry if you get things wrong.  If you love her (and I suspect you do, very much, from your question), then she's the same person you loved before she had a diagnosis. 

But the diagnosis may give you a framework within which mutual understanding will flourish more easily, and misunderstandings can be reduced. It may make practical issues easier.

I wish you all the best ... and thank you, for asking that question.   

As Tassimo said, and others have implied, that's a very open ended question and it depends on the nature of your wife's autism and how it manifests itself, as well as your own personality.

But you're asking that question, which is GREAT. I can't tell you how important that is. It speaks volumes about you, all of it positive.  Massively, massively positive.   

I, too, have an intelligent, loving, wonderful partner; with hindsight (never at the time) I realise the patience she's sometimes deployed with me; she's a strong, resilient, incredible woman and I am so, so lucky that she is who she is. I'll never underestimate the importance of that, but I don't always realise that she's having a difficult time, until afterwards, because I'm running one operating system and she's running a different one.   

You're reading, and researching, and asking questions, so that you can come at this from a more informed base.  My wife does the same. How bloody fantastic is that?  And what more could anyone ask? 

The two of you will have to work this out and it may take time. There isn't a manual. But I'm guessing you'll be fine.   

This wouldn't work for everyone but I have a strong affinity for dogs and can emotionally connect with them and so does my wife.  I love training them, and engaging with with, and again, so does she.  I don't know how to describe this but the shared love of our German Shepherd (and his predecessor, also a Shepherd) is important.  The dog, by the way, doesn't care if you have autism or not; if you treat a dog right, they'll just love you, unconditionally.  That wouldn't be everyone's thing, but it's terrific, for us.   

I would say listen, hard, even to the small things.  Don't worry if you get things wrong.  If you love her (and I suspect you do, very much, from your question), then she's the same person you loved before she had a diagnosis. 

But the diagnosis may give you a framework within which mutual understanding will flourish more easily, and misunderstandings can be reduced. It may make practical issues easier.

I wish you all the best ... and thank you, for asking that question.