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Executive function struggle

NAS75685

Hi, I’m 40yo F, I’m on a waiting list for my diagnosis but it’s 18 months+ So at the moment in limbo formally. I’m sure I’m autistic, always been sure only now felt brave and supported enough to start the diagnostic process. Anyway, at the moment I’m really struggling with housekeeping demands, lockdown has taken a toll, and long story short I’ve got an overwhelming amount of sorting/cleaning/clearing etc. to the point where my letting agency is threatening legal action. What really gets to me is that I know they are right and I do try to the point of breakdown, whenever I attempt a task I get sidetracked or so focused on the details that even after a long time doing it not much gets done “globally” but I’m exhausted. Wishing the last month as well my car broke down, as did washing machine and vacuum cleaner. I’m scared, depressed and overwhelmed. I do not have any formal support in place at the moment I’ve started looking for  a cleaning service to help out, but it’s tricky to find one I can trust. I am doing ok in some other areas like in my job or uni. I feel like I should be able to just sort it out, I love sorting a order, just this all feels like too much. I feel like the shittiest human on this planet, and have no idea how to stay afloat. Does anyone have any suggestions, willing to try anything :( thanks for reading 

Parents

  • Also 40, also female,  also waiting on formal diagnosis! I used to work in costume so I always had a tonne of stuff. I've spent a number of years working my way through my possessions, particularly after I was forced to move back in with my parents following surgery. It's not easy to deal with it when all you can see is a mountain of stuff. For me, the only way I could deal with it was a little at a time. At the end of the day, you need to have the basics done. Wash dishes, wash and iron clothes, dust, hoover, basic tidying. I do these things every week. With that done, my aim is to spend extra attention on a new space each week. Maybe I'll aim to empty a box or go through my wardrobe. If it's just a few bits that leave the house at a time, that's OK. It's still something.

    I love organising too. I rearrange my furniture at least a few times every year. If I'm stressed, I may do it more. That helps to focus my brain because I can't function in my space if I have clutter. As I move things around, I see if I can make new space. I've cleared out boxes of stuff as a result of realising they didn't work in my new layout and wasn't getting used.

    If you get distracted easily (I definitely do!) Than think about setting a timer. 5 minutes, 10 minutes,  whatever works for the task your doing. If it's something specific, like flicking through a book instead of tidying it away, put it in a box and leave it until the rest of the task is complete.

    One other thing that helps me, is to break it down, literally.  For example, I'm not cleaning this room, I'm picking up all the clothes and either putting them in the wash basket or in the wardrobe. Once that's done, I'll gather all the dishes and wash them, then into the drainer to dry off.

    These are a few things that have worked for me over the years, hope they help. In fact, go and get all your clothes. You have FIVE MINUTES!!! ;) 

Reply

  • Also 40, also female,  also waiting on formal diagnosis! I used to work in costume so I always had a tonne of stuff. I've spent a number of years working my way through my possessions, particularly after I was forced to move back in with my parents following surgery. It's not easy to deal with it when all you can see is a mountain of stuff. For me, the only way I could deal with it was a little at a time. At the end of the day, you need to have the basics done. Wash dishes, wash and iron clothes, dust, hoover, basic tidying. I do these things every week. With that done, my aim is to spend extra attention on a new space each week. Maybe I'll aim to empty a box or go through my wardrobe. If it's just a few bits that leave the house at a time, that's OK. It's still something.

    I love organising too. I rearrange my furniture at least a few times every year. If I'm stressed, I may do it more. That helps to focus my brain because I can't function in my space if I have clutter. As I move things around, I see if I can make new space. I've cleared out boxes of stuff as a result of realising they didn't work in my new layout and wasn't getting used.

    If you get distracted easily (I definitely do!) Than think about setting a timer. 5 minutes, 10 minutes,  whatever works for the task your doing. If it's something specific, like flicking through a book instead of tidying it away, put it in a box and leave it until the rest of the task is complete.

    One other thing that helps me, is to break it down, literally.  For example, I'm not cleaning this room, I'm picking up all the clothes and either putting them in the wash basket or in the wardrobe. Once that's done, I'll gather all the dishes and wash them, then into the drainer to dry off.

    These are a few things that have worked for me over the years, hope they help. In fact, go and get all your clothes. You have FIVE MINUTES!!! ;) 

Children