So it ain’t easy for me to write this because I used to convince myself I was fine but long story short I’m 30 years old and for the past 10 years I have avoided going outside a even as a teen I didn’t socialise my mum just used to put it as I was shy but I always felt awkward and that I didn’t fit in I haven’t been to the doctors since I was a kid haven’t been to the dentist I quit my job when I was around 20 couldn’t handle the pressure of going in work and being around people I used to stay awake the whole night before my shift because I used to dread going in and socialising with people I haven’t seen any of my family in years because I can’t bear to face them not because anything I have done or they have done I just feel like all eyes would be on me if I ever have to speak to anyone I avoid looking them in the face since I quit my job 10 years ago I literally haven’t had a life obviously don’t work because I don’t like going out and find it hard to interact with my family members never mind people I don’t know as I became less sociable and withdrawn from the world my mum used to worry I was on drugs used to cause arguments in the end she kicked me out because I was unable to just tell her wot was really going on and that I needed help was easier to let her think that I don’t claim any benefits because I don’t want to deal with people I don’t know plus I don’t like the idea of not being able to take care of myself which at the minute I can’t if it wasn’t for one person who has tried there best to help me for the last 10 years I don’t know where I would be I used to deny to anyone I had a problem but now I really want to get help and I just want to try have a normal life and I don’t know who to turn to I don’t have a gp and even if I did I don’t think I could speak to anyone face to face I have missed out on a lot and I need to do something about it
