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Is this what life is like for me/us?

O

I've been debating about writing this post probably because I'm just so annoyed at myself, disappointed in myself and just ashamed of myself in a way to admit it. Hopefully this isn't too long a post.

I think I'll start here, so I am "plagued" in a way with intense interests and then all of a sudden, poof, lost all interest and cannot for the life of me get back into it what ever it may be. It's not like a feeling of mild fleeting interest due to loss of excitement of starting something new, but you still get on with it. It's a feeling of intense boredom and disinterest to the point where I cannot concentrate for no matter how hard I try not matter what techniques I use to try an help. I just cannot get myself to care enough.

I'm wondering if anyone here has similar experience?

Moving on to the reason why I'm writing this, I've been doing a course for software engineering and basically what I've written above has happened, as a result I've been failing I feel so bad about it I don't know what to do, I don't know how to tell my mum about it. I've started a new part time job recently and I like it, I like earning the money and I like the people but I'm not too sure how I could turn it into something I can make a career out of to live a nice life. I just feel so stuck right now I don't know what to do.

That's brings me to the title of the post, is this what life is like for us that, have this problem? Am I going to have this issue for my whole life? Not knowing what to for work or a career because I'm constantly having drastic change in interest especially in things that I would like to monetise and hopefully turn into some kind of career.

I hate being all negative and down in the dumps I'm trying to be more positive to myself and look after myself physically again by going to gym but I just have this thing hanging over me and I'm not sure what to do.

I don't expect anyone to reply to this or to offer advice I just wanted to get it out there into the aether maybe someone can tell me if they experience the same kind of thing but I don't know.

O

  • in reply to JackF

    I still live with my mum it doesn’t help because I want to live on my own but I just don’t have the money to buy a place and I don’t want to rent which again is another reason why I’m struggling at the moment because I want to be able to earn enough money to have a nice life independently 

  • in reply to O

    That's great to be in work. Your motorbike will surely aide in travelling around faster. This leaves the household. I presume like most of us, tenants under our parents' roof.
    The reason I ask is for Surrey Autism Partnership Board, I attend the Independent Living and Accommodation workstream meetings. This way, a social care assessment will determine how easily to invite somebody over to my parent's house. But that is not happening any time soon to go out and invite somebody over due to COVID-19 concerns with my parents.

  • in reply to ☕Tassimo ☕

    I replied to your pm just now but with the other stuff in your reply, I have heard that saying and I would love nothing more than to find something I love and be able to make money from it but the issue is I haven’t found anything I love enough for long enough amount of time in order to make myself something out of it 

  • in reply to JackF

    There hasn’t been much going on apart from my course I started a part time job about 6 weeks ago as furlough has stopped and I’m doing motorbike lessons which has been really great because that has been the only thing for a long, long time that has actually made me happy but that’s it.

  • O, your post is welcoming to reply to: What you describe with "feeling of intense boresome and disinterest..." appears difficult to return into your software engineering course.

    What else has been going on besides work and the outdoors? From my experience, I feel this way when interference from other courses bother me. These might take shape with clutter or distortions but I do not know your present circumstances. I am newly responding to posts on this bulletin board and studying and working a part time job, cleaning.

    I can tell you as well when the clocks change, this has been the single most pivot in feeling disinterest with any of my time management skill. In my humble opinion this post has to do with technique and writing out your sayings and feelings as Tassimo has done.

  • Hey, O. It's okay to let off steam. How long is left on the course? And could you get some support from the course provider to get you through to the end? If you've already done a lot of work, then it would be a shame not to see it through to the end.  I have a feeling that you are putting yourself under a lot of pressure. Have you heard the saying that if you do something you love, then you never have to work another day in your life. Why not forget about making money or making a career and look to do something that really makes your heart sing, something you would gladly do for no money.