• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 88 subscribers
  • Views 3416 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Ashamed/coming to terms with my diagnosis

Ladybird

I know it was mentioned here somewhere before that it’s not a good idea to tell people about being diagnosed with autism.

But being diagnosed and not talk about it feels like I have some dirty secret. Something I shouldn’t tell anyone. It feels like something shameful, something I should hide from other people because they won’t like me if I tell them. 

Feels like something to be ashamed of. 

How to accept myself and not be ashamed of myself if I hide so much about myself. I’ve never been open about my depression and I hid my suicidal thoughts (because I was ashamed of them). And now I’m hiding autism. And while depression it’s something that can come and go so it’s not permanent and I could use this as an excuse for not telling anyone (because I’ll get better soon anyway so why bother and worry someone), autism is not. It’s not something temporary. I won’t get better. 

And it feels like some dirty secret. 

Parents

  • I wonder if I can offer another perspective.

    A 'dirty little secret' became a thing because Freud identified this Complex that keeps NTs civilised and called it the Oedipus complex. Neurotic (NT) individuals aren't always aware they have literally been encoded to believe they are in debt to one another due to being guilty of something and live life with this subliminal feeling of shame: you want to kill your father and sleep with your mother. Classic.

    If you think about it long enough, you might not feel ashamed. We could feel unwanted, rejected to marginalised, but do you really feel ashamed? Or do you feel like you want to connect but don't know how and that you have something valuable to give. Maybe lost... I've found It's important to find the right identification or not misdiagnose how I'm feeling and why.

    Technically we don't owe anyone medical or private or personal information about ourselves. And I'd suggest to guard it. Just like you don't owe any one free automatic Trust. Trust is earned. My private information and a moment of engaging with my vulnerable 'real' self is Expensive. To put it bluntly: Data is exploitive and Corporations want it more than your money. (how often is your time unpaid for while you freely give a corporation your opinion about their service? This used to be something they'd pay 6 digits for and now they manage to get NTs to actually believe their opinion is important to collect Free Data!!)

    The other thing is, it's important to invest in a few people in life who can share our journey, who feel like we believe they're worth while. These few people are good ones to then share deeper thoughts with or express depression to so they can help us through and we can help them. 

    You're absolutely amazing the way you are! Before I understood autism I decided to Steal Time every now and then, engage my senses, learn little things about me that are amazing and focus on them. We all have them. Just become your best you. Use the term NeuroDivergent in the meantime. Everyone has their own things to navigate. Just find one person you feel is worth confiding in. Someone who's earned your trust. If you've not found them yet, then allow the right person to earn it. x

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey
    JuniperFromGallifrey said:
    I decided to Steal Time every now and then, engage my senses, learn little things about me that are amazing and focus on them.

    I would point out to that bit, and suggest that all of you experiment until you discover what your senses can do,

Reply Children
No Data