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Ashamed/coming to terms with my diagnosis

Ladybird

I know it was mentioned here somewhere before that it’s not a good idea to tell people about being diagnosed with autism.

But being diagnosed and not talk about it feels like I have some dirty secret. Something I shouldn’t tell anyone. It feels like something shameful, something I should hide from other people because they won’t like me if I tell them. 

Feels like something to be ashamed of. 

How to accept myself and not be ashamed of myself if I hide so much about myself. I’ve never been open about my depression and I hid my suicidal thoughts (because I was ashamed of them). And now I’m hiding autism. And while depression it’s something that can come and go so it’s not permanent and I could use this as an excuse for not telling anyone (because I’ll get better soon anyway so why bother and worry someone), autism is not. It’s not something temporary. I won’t get better. 

And it feels like some dirty secret. 

Parents

  • Once I self-diagnosed, I told my best & oldest friend, my immediate family and my sister-in-laws family (who I see a lot).

    Now I have been officially diagnosed I intend to tell my only other close friend next time we video-call.

    I will probably also tell my 2 ex-colleague/drinking buddies if we ever get to meet face-to-face again.

    Otherwise I am not going to hide it, but I'm also not going to broadcast it to all and sundry... not because of shame, but because  I don't want to be taken advantage of.

    That being said, on the day of my assessment I proudly went out in my birthday present...

  • in reply to moon

    Since I found out I was autistic, it took me 1 day to tell my wife, 4 months to tell my parents, 9 months to tell my best friend and I have just told two other friends 

    Going to wait for my official diagnosis to come out to my boss and workmates, that will be scary!

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