Anxiety and depression due to work based stress...

This is a product and problem of capitalism. As is AI. And I’d far rather have an intelligent being what actually answers my question and puts me through to the right department or helps sort out what’s needed so I don’t have to deal with it 5 more times. 

Being effective is not always done fast. I’ve actually been let go for not working fast enough and apparently costing the company more money. While there were other issues I was able to address in the last conversation with the manager, I wasn’t able to, in the moment, convey why I couldn’t match their demands. But looking back, I would have said things different. 

First, my job was to assess and aid creative and technical endeavours within the music industry to help the company appear to have more desirable products. Each assessment was like being handed a whole packet of information to break down and then respond with 3 sentences on how to improv. These sentences had to be crafted with particular psychological rules. Therefore it took me much longer being a wealth of info to my brain, while other Neurotypes might be able to sift through it easier. Now here’s the catch. The manager actually said WHAT I was conveying back was amazing and he even took notes but the Speed was nearly half what it should be. 

In the end, if one did the math, all companies need specialised individuals as 10 trial and error individuals who might do things quick but not well even out with things done right from the start. I’m not sad about leaving that environment, there was no fresh air, the lights and aesthetics were grating at best and it was supplemental income. At the time I knew I was a slower reader and thought I had something like hyperlexia, but they didn’t really understand how that impacted my work flow or brain process. 

companies are becoming more interested in turn over than longevity.  Perhaps your skills might be suited for training others at this point? There’s a chart that goes around saying “Pick Two”: Fast, Cheap, Good.  I think this summary needs to be stressed more often. If one individual turns over 10 sales and earns £100 while another 2 earning the same amount then that is what needs to be investigated. You can’t have it all!

When you go back, you need to have a conversation with them. Ask them why they suddenly want you to work faster. Explain to them that the stress they are causing you is actually making your ability to function worse, so by putting you under pressure,  they are getting less out of you. I'm sure you know what is expected of you, so talk to them about ways you could implement which could improve your speed whilst not making you more stressed. 

get back in ------ get in there,  and smash that mental block dont let it grow.

work as fast you can that is comfortable thats my advice and if they want to fire u,,,, then let them ! 

what more can u do ? 

stop hating yourself ----- and thats nothing to do with work ----- its part of being a really tough resilient and well rounded person/parent/husband and even would u believe soldier.

if u hate yourself u can end up hating your family and everyone else.  it spreads.

if u love yourself the opposite tends to happen

its not easy i know but please,, thats where u start ( start by loving yourself / accepting yourself ).

look up this skill online and apply any advice u read about self compassion ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,try self compassion guided meditations ( in Youtube ) 

Hello NAS75169,

I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety and frustration with work. The NAS website has a guide with information and advice if you’re autistic and in work. There are tips for interacting and coping at work, advice on dealing with bullying in the workplace and what the law says about your rights at work. Here is the link: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/employment/support-at-work/autistic-adults

Hopefully member of this forum will also contribute with their experience.

All the best,

Karin Mod