Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, would appreciate your thoughts on this.
As a recently diagnosed older person, I am now starting to realize, after reading a lot of other People's stuff on this site, that I have been masking more or less my whole life.
Some say you should drop the mask now that you know you have as, and show your real self.
I have given this a lot of thought over the last few days, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea- for me anyway.
The masking I've developed over the last 50 years or so seems to get me bye, and is more or less socially acceptable (when I can keep it up, which is most of the time)
But when I really look at the 'real' me, I don't think it would be a good idea to show myself.
The real me doesn't seem to like others (in the main), and can be mean spirited, shy and recluse and judgemental.
Is this real me what autism is?
If so should I carry on with the masking, and try to subdue the real me?
Does anyone else think this
I know it's been said here already but building out safe bubbles where you don't need to apply all your coping mechanisms seems a great compromise between needing to stay safe and needing to be yourself, I'd even go as far as developing a timetable to come out.
I'm also not a fan of using the spectrum language, it diminishes the work we put in, if I have to explain I'll say I'm Autistic, exactly what the trait is and what I do to manage it, if I need to I'll explain what I need people to do but I don't tend to put myself in a position to need other people to behave in a certain way.
Possibly the "real you" is a reaction to a negative environment, certainly a good level of contempt helps with some folks, maybe if you can build that safe space you'll find another you burried under another layer of armour.
I hear what you're saying longspoons.
I was kind of thinking along those lines myself.
Sometimes it can be difficult to know what is the original you and which is the scarred you. Especially if diagnosed late in life. Old grey cells don't work as well.lol
When I finally had to admit there was indeed a very real chance I may get old, I started looking for training materials. I found them in the excellent Television series "one foot in the grave" where that most exellent Victor Meldrew teaches us how to approach the world, and fight back even form a position of zero power or "leverage", by hurling fizzing grenades of chaos at those who would stand in our way!
Finding out I was Autistic was just the icing on the cake!
I have already directly altered policy at the govenrmental level by a series of well crafted emails..
The power of being an intelligent determined complaining ***, with a really good mask of earnest helpfulness and intelligent suggestions is like having the rocket launcher in doom!
Autism is a weird kind of power as much as it is a disabilty..
Now go watch a couple of episodes of Victor Meldrew's revolutionary training films and make the change you are looking for. Throw in reading "the hidden persuaders" to give your email a bit of penetration, and voila, the suits are dancing (at least a tiny bit) to your tune...
I hope someone "gets" what I'm laying out here..
I can't believe the power that atypical thinking applied kindly and intelligently to the normie condition has. But I ended up guiding the production of some laws recently! POWER!! BWoahahaaa!
There is an actual yellow and black plastic "Autism card" which I carry everywhere I go, (and if I EVER get arrested again there is a 57 page set of instructions that will arrive at the police station (which I got from here THANK YOU N.A.S.) very quickly after I do. That's raw naked power that is! Useless, admittedly, because I never expect I will do anything that involves interacting with the wonderful police force again in my lifetime, except complaining and telling them what they should be doing, as I like to do. (The life I lead is WAY more fun than being antisocial or a criminal) When I've fought the law it's because they got something wrong, and unlike the pop song, they did not win.
The point is not that the card, which at best makes the police treat you a bit more carefully, which is great for you if they are out of order but will probaly not help you at all if you actually chucked the brick though the window, is really useful that way, but the "Autism card" can legitimately be used to blunt the attack of a collegue in the meeting at work, because you can instantly call for a time out to process and translate (our thinknig is of vey good quality with great depth sometimes, but it ain't fast!) This approach nullifies the normies usual way of marginalising you, (faster thinking and greater eloquence) at a stroke whilst enhancing your advantages, deep and leftfield thinking, and of course gives you temporary conrtrol of the situation..
If I make good on my idea of starting an Autism Army, we will be a real force to contend with, oo yar!!
My "mask"/"personality" has always included mixing honesty with humour, and a little "hyperbole" It still serves me well...
Yeah policy change is fun, it seems as soon as you toss out the Normie rule book they get very worried.
We have years of practice of playing their rules, our rules with the reliance on reality over perception completely screw them up because its just hard fact, you can't sugar coat it, you either own it or well there isn't an or.
I don't think you need to worry about starting an autism army it's coming slowly, if the genetic testing works out there may be a lot more of us than anyone realises and they'll be what someone once described as "high value Aspies".
My lad was emotionally abused by someone who thought they could punish the autism out of him, I'm using his experience to force changes throughout the education system, the choice is simple for all involved if they do nothing they risk a historic child abuse scandal because whilst it might be on the boundaries of acceptability now all the evidence is preserved and it won't stay that way forever.
I genuinely got "on paper we're doing it right" as an explanation, the mentality of NT numpties can be incredible sometimes.