Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, would appreciate your thoughts on this.
As a recently diagnosed older person, I am now starting to realize, after reading a lot of other People's stuff on this site, that I have been masking more or less my whole life.
Some say you should drop the mask now that you know you have as, and show your real self.
I have given this a lot of thought over the last few days, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea- for me anyway.
The masking I've developed over the last 50 years or so seems to get me bye, and is more or less socially acceptable (when I can keep it up, which is most of the time)
But when I really look at the 'real' me, I don't think it would be a good idea to show myself.
The real me doesn't seem to like others (in the main), and can be mean spirited, shy and recluse and judgemental.
Is this real me what autism is?
If so should I carry on with the masking, and try to subdue the real me?
Does anyone else think this
I know it's been said here already but building out safe bubbles where you don't need to apply all your coping mechanisms seems a great compromise between needing to stay safe and needing to be yourself, I'd even go as far as developing a timetable to come out.
I'm also not a fan of using the spectrum language, it diminishes the work we put in, if I have to explain I'll say I'm Autistic, exactly what the trait is and what I do to manage it, if I need to I'll explain what I need people to do but I don't tend to put myself in a position to need other people to behave in a certain way.
Possibly the "real you" is a reaction to a negative environment, certainly a good level of contempt helps with some folks, maybe if you can build that safe space you'll find another you burried under another layer of armour.
I hear what you're saying longspoons.
I was kind of thinking along those lines myself.
Sometimes it can be difficult to know what is the original you and which is the scarred you. Especially if diagnosed late in life. Old grey cells don't work as well.lol