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Trust

The Riddler

I have been thinking about this for a whil now and spent some time noticing how I interact with a variety of people. What I have come to realise more and more is, fundamentally I just don't trust other people! 

With people I've just met I don't trust they will act appropriately, be kind, considerate, non-selfish, etc, etc. Then with people I do know (and especially since getting diagnosed) I just don't believe they are being honest towards me, not judging me behind my back, and ultimately won't let me down and just turn out to be fake. 

I hate to say it, but even with my partner to some extent. It wouldn't entirely surprise me if she said she'd met someone else because I was too much to deal with! Even though at the moment she says she's not bothered about me being Aspie.

What are other people's thoughts, feelings, experience with Trust. Is it something that comes easily or something you struggle with?

Parents

  • I think it's interesting that you have raised this, I think it is related to autism. I'm in the process of seeking a diagnosis so I have been writing down all manner of notes, and "trust" was one of my headings! It is something I struggle with at a number of levels - perhaps because I've been too naive and trusting in the past though?

    So many times when I've taken at face value information that's been given to me and acted on it or passed it on in good faith to someone else (teacher, boss, social group...) it has backfired on me big time. Possibly in some cases there has been malice involved, I don't know, but I do think that a lot of people are just careless and don't even think about why you asked them and the consequences of giving you dodgy information. So I try to check things independently if I can and if I have to get someone else's input I try to pick the right person! People say "oh well you just have to have a little bit of faith in people" - but I do find that very hard and if most people are doing that then they must have not noticed or have forgotten how many times they've been let down!

    And If I delegate a task to someone (partner, colleague or whoever), I always over-explain and then often sort of hover over them too because I don't believe they'll do it "right"! It worries me when people say "right, sure, no problem!" and go off to do the thing and I'm left thinking, but how can you possibly know exactly what I meant when you didn't even let me finish never mind explain in minute detail!

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  • I think it's interesting that you have raised this, I think it is related to autism. I'm in the process of seeking a diagnosis so I have been writing down all manner of notes, and "trust" was one of my headings! It is something I struggle with at a number of levels - perhaps because I've been too naive and trusting in the past though?

    So many times when I've taken at face value information that's been given to me and acted on it or passed it on in good faith to someone else (teacher, boss, social group...) it has backfired on me big time. Possibly in some cases there has been malice involved, I don't know, but I do think that a lot of people are just careless and don't even think about why you asked them and the consequences of giving you dodgy information. So I try to check things independently if I can and if I have to get someone else's input I try to pick the right person! People say "oh well you just have to have a little bit of faith in people" - but I do find that very hard and if most people are doing that then they must have not noticed or have forgotten how many times they've been let down!

    And If I delegate a task to someone (partner, colleague or whoever), I always over-explain and then often sort of hover over them too because I don't believe they'll do it "right"! It worries me when people say "right, sure, no problem!" and go off to do the thing and I'm left thinking, but how can you possibly know exactly what I meant when you didn't even let me finish never mind explain in minute detail!

Children
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