Constructive euphemisms?

The usual deal is, of course, that you try to tell someone what you have recently discovered for yourself , and you get back the standard, " We're all a bit  *****". I personally can't think of a single case when it has really helped me for someone to say that; except perhaps when admitting it to myself or the diagnostician/assessor. So how could we phrase it some other way to disarm that reaction before it even begins to happen. I've taken, online, to just calling myself ''a bit slow''; as in 'Well, you know me, I've always been a bit slow off the mark". That does have a certain grain of truth in it, in my case; and I just sort of figure that their reaction is either then going to be something like, 'Well, I suppose I have might just have similar issues myself", or they are going to clam up completely, to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

You know, when you are young, nearly everyone one believes it is their god-given right to be completely and devastating candid about what they think YOUR problem is; while the exact same people when older will basically backpedal on all the scorn they offered you in your younger years. In their rush to be the quickest off the mark in the monetarist olympics of life, I can't really imagine anyone really wanting to say, "Well, we are all a bit slow sometimes''. And yet in my case, there is a grain of truth in it.

I've also been trying out 'neural damage'; as I can see how it might well have happened as a result of childhood sickness; and I have no real compunction about saying this about myself; why worry yourself about those fairly neutral words when the damage was obviously done decades ago. And I doubt whether too many people would then wish to contest such a blunt statement by citing a few of their own minor neurological issues.

But how about other 'alt' ways to relabel your life as something just a little bit different from the much maligned ASD/Asperger's thing? I'm just wondering if someone here might be able to come up with some real scorchers, to hex the  "We're all a bit  *****" bs; something that will make the listener go away for a while and ponder why you didn't come straight out with some stereotyped label that they could instantly and easily be dismissive of. I look forward to perhaps trying a few of your suggestions out; almost anything would be better that the complete silence that usually follows  "We're all a bit  *****".

But seriously, I can see myself enjoying this. I have found the ''a bit slow'' label a fairly constructive one, over the decades. It is something that can be later elaborated on, at length; or it can get people wondering why you didn't immediately use one of the more current 'labels'.

But I also wouldn't be too surprised if some folk think this is a dreadful idea. I'd still like to hear why! :-) If so, how else could one disarm the usual hackneyed NT response? I think I'm looking more for cheerful strategies, rather than sullen upheaval.

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  • The term Aspergers is suddenly Useful in that NT individuals don't quite know what to do with it. For some reason it's acquired such strange specifications that seem particularly odd, Neurotypicals can't identify. Where as Spectrum becomes Spectrummy, Autistic = we're all a little... it's like Virtue Signalling with Imposter Syndrome or some other nonsense construct NTs use to play a redundant echo chamber of we-are-one-but-I'm-attempting-micro-domination. 

    I've found it useful to see brain scans and understand the neurological side of Autism. If the brain is making hyper calculations and utilising different lobes for reasoning rather than the typical use of the one for language and feelings, then most likely it might take a little longer to output. I use the analogy of my brain being like a messy library often and my somewhat difficult attempts at accessing. Or describing the difference between NT and Autistic/ADHD wiring like attempting to exit an Escape Room. The NT has one obstacle which they just walk around. But for the other, it's like a new puzzle needs solving and removing with every step. 

    I really think there's a noticeable difference when attempting to use social constructs. I've opted to simply state when NTs are being nebulous or odd. The problem is, most can't usually understand just how encoded they are: Sublimated... Oedipalised. 

  • Interesting comments there, JFG.

    Well, I suppose there could be some mileage then in going along with some of the encoding that 'they' do actually have a quite a grip on. They should be able to figure out stuff like 'different wiring' and 'operating on LINUX rather than WINDOWS'.

    I would prefer to refrain from psycho-analytical labeling for NTs. I see myself more as a somewhat botched & bungled 'engineer' type, than a follower of Freudian mythology. (But then, when you've seen one ..... , you've seen just one.) I definitely don't expect my bodged brand of reasoning and my choice of euphemisms to suit anyone else here. I can enjoy other people's choice of words, without any particular desire to say it quite the same way for myself.

    A more neurological approach would suit me fine. I look forward to a few brain scans in my old age. But I will refrain from all the current comment on Imposter Syndrome. It certainly rings a few bells in my imagination, but I'm also getting a bit fed up with it cropping up too often in the tabloids.

  • I've used the Linux vs PC often! 

    As for Freud, I've been studying Deleuze and Guattari for years, quite the antithesis of Freud but a few Fruedian concepts are excellent (no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater). Apologies! I didn't mean to create labels, just expose basic social systems. Oedipalisation is seen in the exchange of individuals who operate out of guilt and debt within society (most everyone) and Sublimiation is just a basic sub-conscious redirection of 'desire', a process which actually has use in creating mature individuals functioning within society! It can keep NTs from becoming criminals for example. 

    The neurology of this has to do with the Lobe we're working out of to reason. It appears Autists may be using the back part of the brain and other parts, "bypassing" somewhat, the language and fear/feeling lobe to make calculations. This is some of the research I've come across. Thus, it may take me a little while or years to work out how I felt about a thing. This also means I'm less susceptible to adverts which use fear-based reasoning or provocative reasoning or social nuanced 'virtuous' language to collect consumers. 

  • Well, Px was just given as an example of a (perhaps) similar form of abbreviation, with no particular significance being attached to its use. It was suggested by a local shrink that I might want to do a few anti-Ds. That was not an idea I favoured at all. I could see that he might be attempting to shut down any debate. Having survived for decades already without Ritalin, I much prefer internal and external dialogue to meds. 

  • They're different. Diagnostic would be the identification/classification of a 'disability' or brain wiring. I've not seen Px (except as a religious symbol) but pharmaceutical would then be a drug or some kind of medicine prescribed for the brain wiring (like weed for Exec Function or steroids for ADHD - not endorsing either just giving an example!) Night!

  • Is Dx health & wellbeing short-hand, in much the same way that the abbreviation Px is used to indicate anything pharmaceutical? (That's enough tonight; sleep calls.)

  • Ah right - dx = diagnosis. What else am I being a bit nebulous with!

    It's always nice to be allowed to rephrase/redesign how I'm communicating. 

  • I'm a long-term Brit expat. To be honest, JFG, I'm struggling a bit with some of your terminology. What's dx, for instance? But I suppose I'm getting the gist, overall.

  • Out of curiosity, are you American? (gathering from my use of apology, meant more in the UK 'Ah - I left this bit out' rather than the US 'submission under'. haha)

  • Actually - thinking about this, I then stumbled into one of my Facebook forums and the 2 admins who are incredibly NT both described themselves as ND because they escaped social norms/coding and either affiliate with a different gender or have alternate sexual preferences...or...are... Vegan. One even suggested to the ADHD female who was asking for PRACTICAL executive functioning tools, that she should take time to deal with the emotional suffering and grievance of her dx. Ugh.

    I then felt the need to work out what I think I may know so was peeling through https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity and will at some point maybe attempt to address this ableist 'tribal' view of what might appear as a trend, where everyone suddenly wishes to be ND as if it were some exclusive club. 

    I think you're spot on! The issues we seem to always encounter are those of being misrepresented and misunderstood. It could be helpful to view the difference between NeuroAtypical as not typical in the current social construct by interests and desires, and being Neurodivergent - being disabled within societies framework. The only issue to run up against is where oppression exists within society, which is better suited through a course in Ethics perhaps. 

    The problem here seems to me that NTs will just identify with (or Virtue Signal) without even knowing or understanding the complexity and the further insult to injury they're adding. From what I've read it's mindless tribal behaviour from the fear/language Lobe (not using tech terms on purpose.) 

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  • Actually - thinking about this, I then stumbled into one of my Facebook forums and the 2 admins who are incredibly NT both described themselves as ND because they escaped social norms/coding and either affiliate with a different gender or have alternate sexual preferences...or...are... Vegan. One even suggested to the ADHD female who was asking for PRACTICAL executive functioning tools, that she should take time to deal with the emotional suffering and grievance of her dx. Ugh.

    I then felt the need to work out what I think I may know so was peeling through https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity and will at some point maybe attempt to address this ableist 'tribal' view of what might appear as a trend, where everyone suddenly wishes to be ND as if it were some exclusive club. 

    I think you're spot on! The issues we seem to always encounter are those of being misrepresented and misunderstood. It could be helpful to view the difference between NeuroAtypical as not typical in the current social construct by interests and desires, and being Neurodivergent - being disabled within societies framework. The only issue to run up against is where oppression exists within society, which is better suited through a course in Ethics perhaps. 

    The problem here seems to me that NTs will just identify with (or Virtue Signal) without even knowing or understanding the complexity and the further insult to injury they're adding. From what I've read it's mindless tribal behaviour from the fear/language Lobe (not using tech terms on purpose.) 

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