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Help my relationship pleaseee

NAS74903

Hi All,

Im super new here and need some advice from anyone. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years now and recently things just haven't been working out, this is mostly to do with his inability to understand social norms. He find it impossible to empathise with people and understand how his words have actions. He has recently confided that he believes he is autistic. I know this is a forum specific to autism and I would just like some advice/ stories from people who may have been in a similar situation. Our relationship is seriously on the rocks so this diagnosis explains a lot of our issues.

  • I suggest you & your man investigate further on autism.

    There are a few different tests available online such as AQ-50.

    There are resources like the advice & guidance pages here on NAS.

    There are a plethora of videos on youtube on people describing what it's like to be autistic (ASD, aspergers etc).

    Discovering how other autistic people feel and behave should be helpful in figuring out what he struggles with and how to work with it.

  • For those with autism, social norms can be a very difficult thing to maneuver, with the facial gestures, eye contact, body language, correct timing, and figuring out what would be acceptable topics to say, and you have to have empathy for him that not everyone can react in the way you deem as "socially normal." I believe the reason why he's told you that he is likely autistic, is so you'd understand that at least there's a reason why he has trouble with socializing, and it's not because he's trying to be bad to others on purpose. Just have some empathy for him.

  • Hi, I'm sorry to hear you are having difficulties in your relationship.

    You have not explained what the specific problems you are facing are—other than you say he has an inability to understand social norms. How is this causing difficulty in your relationship exactly? Can you be more specific about his struggles and how they impact your relationship?  You have been together for two years,  so how have you been facing these challenges up to now?

    You say he has recently confided in you that he thinks he is autistic. Then you say his diagnosis explains a lot of the issues. I'm confused.  Is it just a belief he has, or has he actually been assessed/diagnosed?