aspbergers, should i disclose

Thanks Hippo. 

She probably does know what it is. She works with special needs children.

Just don't want everything blamed on it

Well maybe your diagnosis will give her some kind of reason or answer to the questions she might have been having about the relationship.

And you could always just say what's on your mind, and just tell her the diagnosis, but also say that you don't want to blame everything on it, but you just wanted her to know about it, and that would be a reasonable response. 

Sounds reasonable.

It's just thing have got a bit polarised with us, and I don't want her telling the kids it's all dad's fault because he has autism.

It's Bab to know how she'll react. But once it's out of the bag ,I can't put it back in.

Thanks for advice hippo

Well if she's like that, and faults you for having a condition that's no fault of your own, then I can understand how her reaction cause a lot of tension in the relationship. 

If you want to keep your diagnosis private from her then do so. You are not obliged to tell anyone about your diagnosis if you don't want to, especially if you know that person will just use that information to try to hurt you, blame you, shun you, or put you down through it. I don't care what kind of family title or what kind of relation they have to you, that's just toxic. You don't have to tell her if you don't want to. 

Well if she's like that, and faults you for having a condition that's no fault of your own, then I can understand how her reaction cause a lot of tension in the relationship. 

If you want to keep your diagnosis private from her then do so. You are not obliged to tell anyone about your diagnosis if you don't want to, especially if you know that person will just use that information to try to hurt you, blame you, shun you, or put you down through it. I don't care what kind of family title or what kind of relation they have to you, that's just toxic. You don't have to tell her if you don't want to.