Losing the will to live

With you in spirit my friend.  I think that you are not alone, in the sense that I think that the people reading this care about you and want your suffering to be relieved.  I sense that they are part of an even bigger group who would support you if they knew what you were going through.  There is a vast unseen community on your side wanting to hold you up.

I know what it’s like to feel despondent and despairing and those feelings ALWAYS pass.  I don’t like being wrong.  When I feel the feeling will last forever I am ALWAYS wrong about that fact.  The pain of the present is a gift of evolution: if I was convinced that the pain would pass to the extent of not bothering to get help or act on it then the pain would have failed in its job   It has been working for a long time in various manifestations in order to prompt action, often in support of survival.  The human race looked after it self because of it.  

Analysis like this is speculation and doesn’t solve my need to get as much help for my mental health. 
I sometimes think ‘what is the point’ 

why get out of bed 

why live?

And sometimes I find myself forgetting because of a beautiful sight such as shadows dancing in morning sunlight or I remember something positive or hear something good or smile at a squirrel outside the window or come here to read consolation. 

Maybe there is more hope  is in what I don’t know. 
my ego will want what I know to be where all Hope lies.  
unfortunately or fortunately I don’t know everything there is to know.  
I don’t know everything that can give me hope.  With my sickness of thinking negativity despondency depression it is likely that there is better hope away from that which is in my mind, that is to say I can look away from thinking if I am wondering where to look.  Anywhere but my thinking would be a good place to start.  If it’s my thinking: Nope.

If it’s not my thinking eg this forum other wisdom distraction of a cat etc: yes 

by the way I still haven’t got out of bed this morning 

I guess it’s okay as it is my day off

i need to go easy on myself.

I wish you well today 

With you in spirit my friend.  I think that you are not alone, in the sense that I think that the people reading this care about you and want your suffering to be relieved.  I sense that they are part of an even bigger group who would support you if they knew what you were going through.  There is a vast unseen community on your side wanting to hold you up.

I know what it’s like to feel despondent and despairing and those feelings ALWAYS pass.  I don’t like being wrong.  When I feel the feeling will last forever I am ALWAYS wrong about that fact.  The pain of the present is a gift of evolution: if I was convinced that the pain would pass to the extent of not bothering to get help or act on it then the pain would have failed in its job   It has been working for a long time in various manifestations in order to prompt action, often in support of survival.  The human race looked after it self because of it.  

Analysis like this is speculation and doesn’t solve my need to get as much help for my mental health. 
I sometimes think ‘what is the point’ 

why get out of bed 

why live?

And sometimes I find myself forgetting because of a beautiful sight such as shadows dancing in morning sunlight or I remember something positive or hear something good or smile at a squirrel outside the window or come here to read consolation. 

Maybe there is more hope  is in what I don’t know. 
my ego will want what I know to be where all Hope lies.  
unfortunately or fortunately I don’t know everything there is to know.  
I don’t know everything that can give me hope.  With my sickness of thinking negativity despondency depression it is likely that there is better hope away from that which is in my mind, that is to say I can look away from thinking if I am wondering where to look.  Anywhere but my thinking would be a good place to start.  If it’s my thinking: Nope.

If it’s not my thinking eg this forum other wisdom distraction of a cat etc: yes 

by the way I still haven’t got out of bed this morning 

I guess it’s okay as it is my day off

i need to go easy on myself.

I wish you well today