Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I made this new thread because there is something that is puzzling me. I don't understand something. Why do my bosses hate me? I have had several bosses that got mad at me and then yell at me. Then there was some that would throw me under the bus. They would come after me and then I would be in trouble. I didn't know what I did to make them upset like this. In my mind I didn't do anything wrong. But they are upset and I am in trouble. Then before they would get mad someone else would tell them something and then they would believe them. Instead of asking me and then finding out what happened. Then for some reason I got fired once because of that but I really quit and they ignored me when I said I quit. Then this one time and it happened just recently I would tell them what happened and then they would go back to doing that thing again where they believe what someone told them and then come after me. I don't know what is going on. I quit the job but they decided to still come after me for posting reviews about the company on the internet. They thought that we were on good terms. I don't know what that means. All I did was quit. How are we on good terms? I gave her a termination letter too. Then she said I was attacking her online but all I did was leave a review. I got a threatening text message saying they would take me to court over a review. Huh? I told my boss to leave me alone and stop texting me because I don't work with her anymore and that is when she threatened court. I was confident and assertive and there was no reason to threaten court. I was not upset. I was firm. I told her to leave me alone because she was being rude for texting me and it wasn't about work it was personal. Then my advocate that helped me get a job because of Autism agreed with the boss that threatened me and then got mad and then yelled at me over email. My advocate took my bosses side. I don't know why because my boss has been horrible to me. Then my advocate in the email said " If you have a problem work it out with her". Huh? There was no problem. But in the past I told her things and she ignored me. I quit. There is nothing to work out anymore. We weren't friends or anything. It was just a business relationship. I am done with the job and she still attacks me and stalks me because I left a review? I don't know what kind of people I am meeting but they are bad because they come after me for no reason. Also I tell people I am confused why they are upset but they just ignore me and keep asking me questions about what I did and why I did something. I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything wrong. This isn't just with customer service jobs this with all the jobs I have had. The bosses seemed to hate me and I don't know why. They get mad and yell at me and try to humiliate me on purpose in front of everyone. People often times ignore what I say. They know I want to be heard but they don't care and continue to ignore me. I had a boss say he didn't care about me. I don't know why he said this. Then he said my name wrong but he said he had a crush on someone in front of my face and he was looking at me. He yelled at me and asked me why I didn't tell him about the call one time. I am not sure why I am being mistreated like that. I don't know what I did. I am very confused about what is going on. Why are they so angry? I was going to tell him but he answered the phone and didn't want to interrupt. I was going to tell him after he got off but then he got mad and then I am confused and didn't know what he was doing. People give me BS all the time and I am sick of it. I am being bullied and I don't know why. This happened after I told them I have Autism. I am very confused. My boss thought it was funny he was mean to me and he wanted me to be scared but I wasn't. I asked him something and then he said remember the time so and so asked me about something. He was talking about me and then I only just asked him at that moment and then he said remember the time after. What the heck? I don't know what is wrong with people. He was mocking me and making fun of me? I don't know what he was doing but it was weird and didn't make sense to me. I feel like people just think I am a joke and the make fun of me. Then they act like I am some weirdo because I wanted to have a job and I am disabled.
I'll tell you what I've learned. Non autistic people don't like others pointing out their faults. We think we're correcting incorrect information or helping them improve, but most of them see it as pointing out their faults.
Some people on this site advised me that non autistic people are obsessed with:
1. Covering up their mistakes
2. Trying to get as high a status as they can in the hierarchy by devious means, manipulating others etc.
When you wrote reviews, these bosses probably thought you were pointing out their mistakes and trying to give yourself higher status by doing so. That is what I deduce anyway.
Autistic people however, don't generally mind owning their mistakes and don't care, we like to improve ourselves. And we certainly don't care about hierarchies and statuses.
So it's worth bearing that in mind. I hope it helps.
Yes that does help. It gives me a better picture of why they act the way they act. And say things the way they say things. Yes I do like to improve myself. I am open and accepting to people's feedback but only if it's actually feedback of course. It seems my bosses didn't seem to like me because of Autism though they didn't like how I said and did things because it wasn't how they did it.
They sound like a right bunch of numpties tbh. Hopefully you can get away from them and start afresh.
Those points about non autistic people being obsessed with covering up their mistakes and being obsessed with status and hierarchies helped me too so I'm glad it helped you. I think it was the late Plastic who told me about it.
Yes, it's good to be choosy, I'm much more choosy about jobs now. I don't work with anyone, just the approachable, amenable ones. Not the difficult ones.
That sounds so familiar, Robert. They are obsessed.
Ok. I'm trying to find good bosses but they seem to be the same in Colorado. They do seem to be... I don't know what the word is but they seem to be the wrong people for me. I think I need to move. I don't think Colorado is right for me anymore. I even tried remote work and the bosses would act the same like for example they would pick me apart because I wasn't like them. They would treat me like im weird for what I say and do. They did act shady about somethings but I'm just repeating myself here. Anyway I am more careful now about what jobs I select.
Those points about non autistic people being obsessed with covering up their mistakes and being obsessed with status and hierarchies
Yes, that is very common, unfortunately.
I own up to mistakes and couldn't care less about status and hierarchies. Others are obsessed with it.
An example from one of my previous jobs where I was a support worker, working with disabled people.
I was working with a senior support worker, taking a disabled, wheelchair bound woman shopping. The senior worker was in charge of her money.
The company we were working for was very very strict when it came to money matters. Before we went out we both had to count her money and double sign the amount. At the end of the day we had to do the same.
During the day we spent her money on taxis, multiple shops, takeaways, keeping all paper receipts.
At the end of the day when we counted the money we were short by a few pence. She double checked, I double checked. We were definitely short. What to do?
I would have just admitted that a small amount had gone missing and we don't know where.
My colleague put her own money in to make up the difference, explaining that what matters is the principle that management must never know that she made a mistake.