Car fears

My fear of being in a car is getting worse.

I drive myself but I am getting more restricted as to where I am happy to drive to (known places, not too far and not at night). Plus I always get worried about not being able to park. 

Yesterday we did an hour 1/2 journey on some motorways with my husband driving and I was terrified. Every time he changed lanes I panicked and I was praying in my head and crying a bit. I have never been this bad before. 

A few weeks ago we skidded off the road (no one hurt) and I think that really made things worse. Logically that has happened once in the whole 22 years he has been driving me around.  We have made thousands of journeys and always been fine. My Auntie was killed in a car crash whilst her husband was driving on a narrow country lane so that's always in my head too. 

Amy ideas on how I can get over this as car journeys are a necessary part of life and I don't want to talk to my husband as I don't want him to think he is a bad driver and I don't trust him.

Parents
  • Oh - that must be awful for you - I’m sorry. It’s not surprising really if you had a relative die in a car accident. And then the skidding off the road recently too - no wonder you feel quite anxious about it - that’s quite natural really. In terms of helping - in my experience the more you avoid what you fear the more afraid you get - so ideally keep travelling in the car and eventually your anxiety levels will come down - just give it time and know that it will reduce eventually. You know your husband is a good driver (even the best drivers can make very small mistakes but they very rarely serious consequences). 
    Like you when I drive I also prefer to plan - both where I’m going to drive and where I park - I think that’s normal for autistic people, and a lot of people don’t like driving in the dark. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it - some people are just more cautious in that way. It’s great that you can drive - even if you do have some restrictions about it. 
    I think the key thing is to keep getting in the car - and in time the anxiety will go down. Good luck x

Reply
  • Oh - that must be awful for you - I’m sorry. It’s not surprising really if you had a relative die in a car accident. And then the skidding off the road recently too - no wonder you feel quite anxious about it - that’s quite natural really. In terms of helping - in my experience the more you avoid what you fear the more afraid you get - so ideally keep travelling in the car and eventually your anxiety levels will come down - just give it time and know that it will reduce eventually. You know your husband is a good driver (even the best drivers can make very small mistakes but they very rarely serious consequences). 
    Like you when I drive I also prefer to plan - both where I’m going to drive and where I park - I think that’s normal for autistic people, and a lot of people don’t like driving in the dark. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it - some people are just more cautious in that way. It’s great that you can drive - even if you do have some restrictions about it. 
    I think the key thing is to keep getting in the car - and in time the anxiety will go down. Good luck x

Children
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