Relationship with Asperger's man

Hi I'm in a relationship with a man who has a lot of Asperger's traits. We're taking it slowly, but I'd like some thoughts from other men with Asperger's to help me. We've been friends since Christmas Thinkingand seeing & communicating with each each other from March. However, it seems that he blows hot and cold and I wondered if this was a typical trait. For example the last couple of weeks we've seen each other more than usual through mutual agreement and he's messaged me a lot more. But this week his messages have become less, more one word answers and much less chatty. Is this down to overload would anyone say? I'd appreciate any help on this Thinking

Parents
  • People on the autism spectrum tend to see relationships as fixed, whereas neurotypicals engage in a lot of relationship maintenance. From the autistic point of view it can be as literal as, "I told you I loved you 15 years ago, why do I need to say it again?" Lack of communication from an autistic can be absolutely no reflection about how they feel.

  • Thanks Martin. When we first got together I had to ask him for a hug. However, recently he's been much more tactile without prompting. Neither of us have said I love you yet, me because I don't want to scare him and him, I suspect, because he doesn't see the need to. Instead we both demonstrate our feelings towards each other by actions which suits us fine!

Reply
  • Thanks Martin. When we first got together I had to ask him for a hug. However, recently he's been much more tactile without prompting. Neither of us have said I love you yet, me because I don't want to scare him and him, I suspect, because he doesn't see the need to. Instead we both demonstrate our feelings towards each other by actions which suits us fine!

Children
  • I am very hugging, tactile person with my wife and children, but I find physical contact with people I do not know, or do not know very well, extremely unpleasant. I think many autistic people have similar reactions. Once we get to know and trust someone we can be physically affectionate.