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Relationship with Asperger's man

NAS74827

Hi I'm in a relationship with a man who has a lot of Asperger's traits. We're taking it slowly, but I'd like some thoughts from other men with Asperger's to help me. We've been friends since Christmas Thinkingand seeing & communicating with each each other from March. However, it seems that he blows hot and cold and I wondered if this was a typical trait. For example the last couple of weeks we've seen each other more than usual through mutual agreement and he's messaged me a lot more. But this week his messages have become less, more one word answers and much less chatty. Is this down to overload would anyone say? I'd appreciate any help on this Thinking

Parents

  • It is quite likely that he's getting a bit overwhelmed with the increase in intensity but finds it hard to express that. He probably likes it and got excited, since he's the one who messaged you a lot more. But it can still be kind of exhausting. If you're only getting brief answers don't put him under pressure to elaborate, just minimise communication for a few days and leave him to initiate the next conversation. Then you'll know if he just needed some quiet time or if he genuinely lost interest (more likely the former).

    For me, the idea that I could be expected to respond at any time of day leaves me very on edge and distracted so I much prefer to talk less by social media and save up most conversations for real face-to-face quality time :)

    Disclaimer: I'm not an Asperger's man, I'm a probably-Asperger's woman.

  • in reply to BassFace

    Thanks for your comments, that's what I thought to be honest. I know he likes me, because he tells me so. I think I just needed confirmation from someone who has a similar outlook as he does

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  • in reply to BassFace

    Thanks for your comments, that's what I thought to be honest. I know he likes me, because he tells me so. I think I just needed confirmation from someone who has a similar outlook as he does

Children
  • in reply to NAS74827

    No problem. I identify with him because I have done the same. I used to have someone I would talk to ALL the time and it was so exciting but it would suddenly get all too much so I'd turn off my phone with no warning and pretend emails/text didn't exist from Friday to Monday because I couldn't cope otherwise.

    I don't do that any more though since I learnt to plan ahead a bit better.