Driving

Ah, if I do have ADHD it hasn't been diagnosed.  I've no doubt that I have traits though because my son is diagnosed and we are quite similar in many ways.  I'm not sure what the DVLA would make of this. 

It's true that driving has opened up more possibilities for me so I've made it as stress free as I can.  Moving from a manual to an automatic helped quite a bit but I also tend to travel at off peak times and keep it to a minimum.  

The assumption that people drive is certainly out there, but it doesn't sit well with me because I think it excludes a lot of people from various jobs and activities and even, in many ways, helps to create an underclass.  I wish it could be different and look forward to the day when there are more alternative options.    

Thanks for your reply. My main issues are focus and spatial awareness - I struggle with focus all the time and so preventing myself from drifting off for an entire test or even a lesson is just such a struggle. I've always found islands confusing too although i've improved a lot here. I've made improvements all round but the third test I took was the worst of all...

I'll take on board your advice. I think I'll try a different instructor too.

I was lucky as I started driving on private roads when I was ten so I was able to take time to learn clutch and brake control. I passed my test first time and was the last to pass before they brought in the theory test. I tend to stick to local roads and have never driven on a motorway as I would struggle to cope with the speed and too many things to keep track of. I much prefer to take the train for long journeys or I cycle. I agree, that we need to move away from cars and think better about how we travel. I cycle more than I drive.

Autistic driving instructor here. What exactly do you struggle with? Make a list of things you do below test standard and things you do above test standard. Then with your instructor work on improving just one aspect up to test standard. So, for example, if you sometimes crunch the gears coming up to junctions, slow down earlier, brake earlier, change gear earlier. Then you’ll give yourself more time to get it right. Repeat again and again for that one lesson until you’re smooth. Next lesson review, then practice on one other aspect. You may need to learn with several different instructors until you find one with a similar teaching style to your learning style. Hope that helps. Good luck.

When did you take your test? I know the test has become more difficult over the years, not least because, as you say, it's so much busier now.

Thanks for the tip, I actually have considered this after someone else suggested it so I'll look into it.

Thank you for directing me, I'm glad to learn I'm not just going mad.

Thank you for the detailed reply. I do have to drive if I want to work solely as a musician, otherwise I wouldn't bother. Although to be fair I would love to be able to drive to places where I can go walking. I live in a big city and for a while now it's been important for me to get out and go for long walks in a nature reserves or other green areas. I also live generally quite a busy life so I could do with saving time.

So yes I think the time has definitely come for me to try and do it. But I agree that driving only when necessary is a good idea. I don't like the car culture either but it's also assumed that people drive now, and those of us who don't miss out, because work and recreation is often built around car ownership.

Just a thought, do you have ADHD in addition to autism? I am told that ADHD is my biggest issue associated with being on the spectrum, and I think the DVLA make it a requirement to inform them if you're diagnosed with ADHD now, so it must make a difference.

Afterthought - you might be able to find an autistic driving instructor or at least one that specifically caters.  www.youtube.com/watch

Hi Roguelife,

Thank you for sharing this with our community.

You may like to take a look at our page about driving, https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/transport/driving

Hope this helps.

Kind regards,

Eunice Mod

Driving is a challenge for me, but that challenge has helped me focus better. I always imagine that my old Driving Instructor is with me; I went through Driving Instructors like Hot Dinners; I was so unteachable.

My Artist Friend complemented me for my driving skills. I take him quite a few places.

I actually have a real problem with driving and it's something that crops up very often in groups like this.  

I passed first time, way back in 1987.  However, I'd had loads of lessons with at least 3 different instructors and I only passed by pretending to be someone else (a confident, assertive person, sort of stepping into their persona!) and asking myself, "what would a normal person do now?" at every decision point.  This was decades before I realised that I am autistic and I'd also been working on my severe anxiety with various techniques, incl. CBT and relaxation, breathwork and visualisation.  And afterwards I didn't dare get back into the driver's seat for some time, necessitating even more lessons in order to bring down my anxiety and be able to apply for jobs outside a very limited range locally.

So...  I did it but not in the most healthy of ways.  And "What would a normal person do at this point?" might have worked but it didn't do much for my self esteem and also probably reinforced my already extensive masking.  At the time, though, I thought I was just one round of counselling or one more self help book away from finding the key to  my excessive nervousness and anxiety.  And, even though I'd passed, I was still terrified of driving in cities or finding my way around crowded supermarket car parks.  And multi story car parks were a no go.  Driving in front of others felt a bit nerve-racking too.   All of this suggests to me, now with hindsight, that I shouldn't really have been driving, although I don't understand how I would otherwise have accessed the jobs I've had and paid the mortgage.  So the whole driving issue feels quite important and possibly excludes people from certain options in life, which i resent.  

For years my husband and I jokingly referred to my "driving disability" and worked with it bit by bit.  What helped? 

- Deskilling it and moving from a manual to an automatic, so that i didn't need to make as many decisions/movements within a short period when say, approaching busy junctions or roundabouts and could focus just on the road ahead.  (They say that changing gears becomes natural after a certain point but I can only say that it didn't with me).

- Continuing with my self help via CBT and breathwork mainly

- Practising beforehand on routes I would be using at busy times when they were almost deserted

- Accepting (eventually!) that this is one thing I find difficult, that I don't need to measure up to others' standards and that it's OK not to drive if I don't feel comfortable with it.  These days I only drive on a few familiar routes and I think it's going to stay that way until old age creeps up on me and I switch to taxis.  

One thing which has always annoyed and stressed me is that others can be quite judgemental about driving and I've internalised some of this such that exclamations, for example, "I could get a bus through there luv!" ring in my ears at key moments.  I've had to take the sting out of such words by giving them a silly voice or tune so that I can just go, "Oh!  you again!" and dismiss them.  Previously i made up stories about having had an accident and lost my nerve as that seemed more acceptable that explaining that driving just terrified me (What?  Driving along at speed in close formation with lots of others in heavy metal boxes, all making individual decisions?  you're all OK witht he risks of that?).  

So, as usual in my past, too much remained unsaid, reinforced my one down positiion with others and eroded my very feeble self confidence.  Now I'm open and honest about it and, having cottoned onto the extent of my masking, I choose what I do very carefully.  It's hard though.  We live in a car culture and I'm sure I would have fared better in the past when car ownership was much lower, or maybe in the future if driverless cars become available.  

So i'd suggest breaking it down into its constituent parts.  What is it that blocks you?  How do you feel about it?  Are there any workarounds?  And chip away at it so's it doesn't become a monumental issue.

The other question - Do you HAVE to drive?  My sons don't and probably won't and for that reason we've moved close to a city centre with good bus routes, a train station and plenty of local shops within walking distance.  I'm fed up of living in a car culture and I wish it could be slowly dismantled!  (Sorry any car enthusiasts out there but I just don't get it).     

no, i have had no real problems driving ( motorcycles or cars). I know I am below average at reversing but u dont have to do that much

I passed the test on my first attempt. I used to drive to work daily and for a number of years would have a 400 mile round trip once every month. Then my employer doubled the parking charge at work and I moved to public transport. Now I hardly ever drive and find it very stressful, they seem to design more and more illogically-laid out road junctions that just baffle me.  

Hi Roguelife. I drove for many years for work and for pleasure. I gave up my licence a couple of years ago because of the medication I was taking. I don't miss it at all. I never had any problems with  the mechanics of driving. For me it was just the stress of it. When I started driving there were not as many cars on the road and not much congestion. By the time I stopped driving, it had become impossible to go anywhere without being stuck in traffic or without feeling like I was driving a dodgem car.  I don't miss driving at all. 

The best thing about the last year's lockdown was the complete absence of cars on the road. It was like we'd been transported to another era. A paradise. And I could hear the earth letting out a huge sigh of relief too. Cars have transformed our towns and cities into hellscapes. I think we'd all be much healthier and happier if their use was restricted to long journeys or for medical purposes.