Published on 12, July, 2020
I have a real problem with noise at my flat. Before now, noise was not a massive issue, although I have always been fairly sensitive. But the noise is now relentless, particularly because it occurs at NIGHT TIME when I am trying to sleep!!!!!!!. Car noise is constant, and makes me startle and awaken at the smallest sound of an engine. The neighbour plays music that is too loud, and has night-time arguments. Meanwhile, my parents house is peaceful at night - no noise at all. I feel as though I have made a mistake in moving out, because of the noise, but can't tell my parents this because they would be devastated, and would tell me that there is no going back. I could not bear the stress of telling them how I feel. I spend weekends with them, and last night I fell asleep only a few minutes after hitting the pillow, which is rare for me. This shows how tired I must have been. I still feel tired, and have just one more night with them before another sleepless week. I am already anxious, and worry that the long term effects of noise will wreck my health. Why should I have to put up with it???. I hate this noisy world sometimes. I wish the flat was as quiet as home, my home, my parents house, that will always be my true refuge -ie a proper house, not some noisy flat/apartment. I feel angry, upset and homesick.
What is more, this is all my fault because I instigated the move in the name of independence. I know I would have to probably move out sooner or later, but my parents home will always be home for me. I just want to move back, but know that I can't. I did not expect constant noise when before now night time was dead quiet!.
The Imp of the Perverse writes...
Hope. I don't think you ever said whether your flat is council-owned, housing association or a simple private rental but all of these ownership types should have options where you can talk to someone so that you can at least deal with the neighbour issue. I'm sure if you and a 'friend' were arguing at night these people would find a way to let you know such noise wasn't on. I would imagine that, by now, you are so stressed that you might not even be thinking correctly about what to do.
Having said this...your flat is not your prison. You don't have to serve what might seem like a life sentence in it. You're allowed to make a mistake or two before you find the right place. Judging from what you've already said you've proved you can be independent but it might just be you need a few attempts at it before making the right choice. So you might need to explain to your parents that it really isn't an independence issue but a fairly normal one where a sensitive person lives next to insensitive people. Perhaps you could even stay at your parents' for three or four days a week until you get some perspective on your situation before trying to change it. So it really isn't all just about you but a fairly understandable response to some very trying people. Don't beat yourself up about it. Your flat might seem like a rites of passage situation but perhaps it isn't just yet.
Having said all this...if you can stand it, earplugs are definitely worth trying as well!