• Replies 12 replies
  • Subscribers 86 subscribers
  • Views 2772 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

NT's and conversations

miaxx

So, there's this girl I'm friends with who is nice and all but a little full on.

She only ever messages me when she wants to tell me something, which is fine, I like that.

The problem is, she always starts off with 'Hi, how are you x'

I hate this because, she doesn't care about how I am. Why pretend? I know you just want to tell me something, so just come out and say it? Why ask about me if you genuinely don't care you just want to carry on with what you're saying.

I would much rather she just start the conversation with what she wants to tell me.

Why do NT's do this?? Why is there always a smokescreen behind what they're saying? Why not just be forthcoming and honest and say I want to tell you something? Why lie and pretend you want to know how I am?

I honestly don't care that she doesnt care, I just don't understand the need to always have a preface to a conversation?

Parents

  • Yes I know exactly what you mean.

    It really annoys me, especially when people go through the script regardless, even when it's abundantly obvious that they don't care about the answers you provide but are just going through the motions anyway. "How are you", "What have you been up to" etc. And then people sigh and stuff, when I cant be bothered with the facade.

    I feel like I should have been the one doing the sighing, and just said "please just get to the point you're clearly not even actually interested in how i am and what ive been up to, so i really dont want to waste my energy on that.  I can tell that you have phoned me for something much more important than to ask me those questions so please do just get to the point I really don't want to go through this in this way."

    I mean, politeness dictates that if they at least appeared to care about the answers then i would give a courteous answer, but not when it's an obvious facade, and a pointless pre-amble to whatever is coming next.

    I can empathise to the extent that it probably helps the caller calm their anxieties a little bit, but I can always see straight through it in situations like that. Normally I would oblige and play along, but it annoys the hell out of me when it's very obvious. I hope I can say something like this, next time this scenario crops up. I wonder what the result will be.

Reply

  • Yes I know exactly what you mean.

    It really annoys me, especially when people go through the script regardless, even when it's abundantly obvious that they don't care about the answers you provide but are just going through the motions anyway. "How are you", "What have you been up to" etc. And then people sigh and stuff, when I cant be bothered with the facade.

    I feel like I should have been the one doing the sighing, and just said "please just get to the point you're clearly not even actually interested in how i am and what ive been up to, so i really dont want to waste my energy on that.  I can tell that you have phoned me for something much more important than to ask me those questions so please do just get to the point I really don't want to go through this in this way."

    I mean, politeness dictates that if they at least appeared to care about the answers then i would give a courteous answer, but not when it's an obvious facade, and a pointless pre-amble to whatever is coming next.

    I can empathise to the extent that it probably helps the caller calm their anxieties a little bit, but I can always see straight through it in situations like that. Normally I would oblige and play along, but it annoys the hell out of me when it's very obvious. I hope I can say something like this, next time this scenario crops up. I wonder what the result will be.

Children
No Data