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NT's and conversations

miaxx

So, there's this girl I'm friends with who is nice and all but a little full on.

She only ever messages me when she wants to tell me something, which is fine, I like that.

The problem is, she always starts off with 'Hi, how are you x'

I hate this because, she doesn't care about how I am. Why pretend? I know you just want to tell me something, so just come out and say it? Why ask about me if you genuinely don't care you just want to carry on with what you're saying.

I would much rather she just start the conversation with what she wants to tell me.

Why do NT's do this?? Why is there always a smokescreen behind what they're saying? Why not just be forthcoming and honest and say I want to tell you something? Why lie and pretend you want to know how I am?

I honestly don't care that she doesnt care, I just don't understand the need to always have a preface to a conversation?

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  • Hi miaxx. The linguistic terminology for this redundant phrase is a phatic phrase. The phenomenon is referred to as phatic communion. It is speech (or writing) intended to create and maintain social relationships, rather than to exchange useful information.

    How are you?  = I know you. You know me. Our previous interactions have been friendly. I am about to interact with you again and require reassurance from you that you still willing to interact with me in a friendly manner. 

  • in reply to ☕Tassimo ☕

    I don't get it! Why don't we all just tell each other what we want to tell each other without the formalities? Would be much easier haha

  • in reply to miaxx

    The theory is that this was the result of a genetic mutation which caused the emergence in humans of new cognitive abilities, abstract thought, imagination and a more complex language system than before. We began to interpret grunts in different ways because we could think about them representing more intricate meanings. The downside is that when humans haven't been able to evolve further as yet and are still stuck in thought, which is the primary cause of mental illness.

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  • in reply to miaxx

    The theory is that this was the result of a genetic mutation which caused the emergence in humans of new cognitive abilities, abstract thought, imagination and a more complex language system than before. We began to interpret grunts in different ways because we could think about them representing more intricate meanings. The downside is that when humans haven't been able to evolve further as yet and are still stuck in thought, which is the primary cause of mental illness.

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