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How helpful is a diagnosis?

NAS74768

Hello, Me and my partner have been together for 10 years and I have always known he is "on the spectrum" (not sure if that's the correct term). Over the past few years things have been getting progressively worse, he can't keep a job more than 3 months because of his behaviour and the frustration caused by this has made him become very difficult to live with. I love him to pieces but I'm at my wit's end and don't know what to do. I know suggesting seeing a GP will cause him a lot of distress and upset so I'm not sure if it's worth the problems it will cause. Does getting a diagnosis help in any way? What are the benefits of getting a diagnosis? 

  • I found out later in life and it has only helped me for my own mental health and general sense of self I haven't sought any actual physical help but if he's young it might be good for help in school if he needs it.

  • in reply to NAS74768

    Could you convice him to do some online autism tests such as AQ-50 & RAADS? I used https://www.aspietests.org/ (not sure if it's the best though).

    It's anonymous (the username fields etc. are totally optional).

    These tests are only indicative, but if he scores highly it might prompt him to read up a little on common autism traits and hopefully get the "oh *** - thats me" realisation. Or perhaps he might google "youtube aspergers" - there are loads of videos of people describing what Autism is like for them.

  • Apart from the personal advantages - knowing why you are as you are, forgiving yourself for past inadequacies, being able to tap into other autistics's coping strategies etc. - any employer is obliged by law to make 'reasonable adjustments', to make your work- life easier to function within.

  • NAS74768 said:
    Does getting a diagnosis help in any way? What are the benefits of getting a diagnosis? 

    These are questions with many possible answers. It all depends on what you consider to be helpful or what you consider to be beneficial. I have another thread in which I discuss the positive effects in my life since diagnosis, but you may not consider them to be positive in your life (or your boyfriend may not not consider them to be positive in his).

    Here is the thread with my post-diagnosis experiences:

    https://community.autism.org.uk/f/miscellaneous-and-chat/23325/life-is-very-different-now

  • in reply to moon

    Hi, thanks for replying. I'm not sure he believes it, he knows that it has been discussed (his parents, friends and then me) but I'm not sure he believes it. He feels that the world is wrong and he's right so everyone else should change. The issue is he has to live in this world and the two realities are clashing. He gets fired from jobs constantly, upsets friends and alienates people. It seems to be getting worse too. Any tips on how to help him become more open to seeking help? 

  • Does he know he is on the spectrum?

    I found that realising I was autistic was immensely beneficial in understanding (and forgiving myself for) many incidents in my past. It is also shaping my plans for a more autistic compatible future. Amongst other things, it means I can benefit from reading about the experiences of other autistics and learn from it.

    I have my official assessment in a few weeks - I don't think there will be any major benefits for me from the official diagnosis, but I want to be sure it's not some other condition that I have (or have as well as).