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The only thing I want - a girlfriend - seems out of reach

Roswell

I don't really enjoy friendships or talking to people much in general. I feel anxious around many people. 

I'm not that interested in many things anymore. One of the last things I spent a lot of time doing playing video games, I've lost interest in.

I think I'm deeply depressed at being 34 and still facing rejection. I can't work because I'm severely mentally ill so it seems really hard to meet anyone.

I had my own flat twice and couldn't cope with the neighbours so am living again with my parents. My dad doesn't like me and dominates the house so I am not eating that healthily as I'm wary of using the kitchen because he's in and out of it so much.

I drink alcohol heavily more or less every day. I've only just got to this point. It was 4-5 days a week but a support worker I had became a pain and was making me feel worse so I let him go and am looking for another but no sign yet of finding someone suitable. 

I wish I had more money so I had more to offer a woman. I'm not sure women are interested in me at all. I'm shorter than the average man and am ethnically Jewish and I would say on average white men are more attractive. Even Hollywood and TV reinforces that - notice how almost all the best paid actors who play the romantic leads are tall and white. 

I found it easier to try socialising and joining things in the past because I had a deluded idea of who I was and was naive. I realise now that whatever I say or do people will always pick up something "off" about me and I'll make them feel uncomfortable and awkward and I'll be likely to be the one who has to leave the room/place because they've got more social status.

Parents

  • I used to think lots of the things you mention. You don't need money, amazing looks or an amazing personality to find the right woman. The most important thing is luck. I enevr got women and what they saw in men. We all watch too many films with perfect people, and SM does not help that. 

    You have lots of stuff going on in your life. It may be easy for me to say this but work on the other stuff that you can work on. If you can cope better with your life then that will help you with women. 

    One of the things is don't be afraid of women. I dated the odd complete ***, but most are loving and caring people. Don't get hung up on what they look like, don't expect them to be perfect, there is more to good looks

    Until I was 31 (and undiagnosed autistic) I was a virgin, I just didn't get it. Then I met somebody who I was with 3 years. Then after a couple of short relationships I met the woman who I have been married to for 15 years. She is not perfect, we have our problems, but we are still going. We met online, but I think that is a whole diffrent world than it was in 2005!

    Rob

Reply

  • I used to think lots of the things you mention. You don't need money, amazing looks or an amazing personality to find the right woman. The most important thing is luck. I enevr got women and what they saw in men. We all watch too many films with perfect people, and SM does not help that. 

    You have lots of stuff going on in your life. It may be easy for me to say this but work on the other stuff that you can work on. If you can cope better with your life then that will help you with women. 

    One of the things is don't be afraid of women. I dated the odd complete ***, but most are loving and caring people. Don't get hung up on what they look like, don't expect them to be perfect, there is more to good looks

    Until I was 31 (and undiagnosed autistic) I was a virgin, I just didn't get it. Then I met somebody who I was with 3 years. Then after a couple of short relationships I met the woman who I have been married to for 15 years. She is not perfect, we have our problems, but we are still going. We met online, but I think that is a whole diffrent world than it was in 2005!

    Rob

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