Published on 12, July, 2020
About 10 years ago, I discovered the trait called Highly Sensitive Person:
Description here: https://hsperson.com/
I took the test back then, and discovered I was Highly Sensitive. Some of the features are:
I bought the Highly Sensitive Person handbook and it was like getting 'the handbook for how I function'. I should read it again tbh.
So recently I was diagnosed as autistic, as you know, and it just occurred to me that these features would fit an autistic person as well. I wondered if I could be HSP *and* autistic. Or maybe I'm one or the other, not both- maybe one has been mistaken for the other? What do you think?
Thanks for this Kiki. I've read all the descriptors and it's confused me. They all seem to be the same autistic traits that I have and so I'm confused now whether I have a different condition.
HSP doesn't take into account other things like executive dysfunction, rigidity of thought, repetitive behaviours, special interests, alexithymia, regulation of emotion. Communication difficulties could look the same but have a different root cause (eg autism / socisl anxiety).
Ah, you see, I never thought of myself as having EF issues, communication difficulties or any of this. Plus I regarded my interests as simply interests and not "special". So the whole concept of being a HSP delayed my realisation that i'm autistic by years. And this also meant I failed to identify that the rest of my family are autistic too. Particularly as a parent, I let others down. No identification equalled no support or awareness and lots of judgment, criticism and blame. We ended up being pushed into crisis situations before autism was even mentioned.
I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety, paranoia and loneliness right now. I keep thinking things refer to me that most probably do not. I have the constant need to communicate but no real life friends to talk to. Just feeling very vulnerable. There must be some sort of guilt too. Or a self perception of myself as this horrible person. Because of past mistakes i have made.Would love a neurodivergent therapist..