I'm going to do something that scares the pants off of me, but I must be assertive instead of sucking it up.
I'm seeing my mental health coordinator on Friday and going to try to tell him that half the time I don't understand what he is talking about. That I have been masking and pretending to understand certain aspects of what he talks about but I don't. I've gotten so good at fooling people after 62 yrs that I understand NT language and social expectations that when I don't I know how to act like I do. After a session with him I do glean some insights but most of the time I walk out of there and ask myself, what was that about? and I don't remember a thing he said.
I have expressed that I feel mental health services cater for NT outcomes but don't amend talk therapies for ND people.
I'm going to tell him that I feel like a fraud. He wants me to talk about trauma and quite honestly I want my list of traumas to stay in the past as it just re-traumatises me for weeks if I go near it.
I'm seeing the Social Worker on Monday to talk how I'm thinking and see if there is another mental health person who is autistic aware? that understands the processing issues people like me face as I don't think, no I know, that my behaviours aren't noticed by him and that he is coming at it from a NT training mindset as I feel I'm expected to respond in a certain way which is why I'm not progressing in my view.
Going to NAS meetings has opened my eyes up to what being with other auties is like and has made me rethink my present support system. So I'm going to get brave and question it.
Anyone else found this? That mental health services are so undertrained to our needs, reactions, thinking styles etc?
Hellbell
